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So I Move On

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Summary:
2nd in a back story trilogy I am posting today.

So I Move On

I accept what has been done
to me although I find it hard
to look in a mirror when I
know that I am lying!  Why me?

I was born into a sadistic family
of incestuous perversions.  They
were abused and passed it on
to me and the rest of the family.

It wasn’t just family.  It was friends,
neighbors and even a slimy Elvis
impersonator!  It’s all I knew.  It’s
how I thought the world was!

I grew up.  I got out. Right into
a violent situation where I was
again beaten, raped and threatened
with death!  It’s all I knew!

I didn’t believe compliments –
they inticed sexual abuse!  An
uncle would say, “She’s pretty,”
right before anal rape!

Mother would dispute it, “She’s about
as pretty as the ass end of a pitbull.”
She’d point and mouth BEATING LATER!
All while watching Uncle enjoy me.

Maybe it was jealousy?  I always got the
beatings.  She never forgot – but I never
got answers as to why she didn’t love
me?  She took that to her grave.

Marriage #2 – I tried to fix a man who just wanted booze and drugs.  then he got sober – got violent and beat me nearly to death! But no rapes. He couldn’t get it up.

Marriage #3 – Should have been a keeper.
But I just couldn’t understand love
or affection!  It didn’t fit the mold. It
wasn’t what I knew.  I couldn’t relate.

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