Short list, Dual personality
A short something, by Randall
1. A short one to a drinker may mean one finger instead of two fingers. Good, Good.
2. Look at the short kid over there. Yes, that’s good.
3. You shortchanged me. I can’t remember what my English teacher said two words combined were. She was mean, she used to say I was a little short on brains. I guess we can use that.
4. A little short on brains? Why? Well, aren’t you?
5. A shorty to a beer drinker. That’s twice with the alcohol. So, one is beer with hops, the other has corn mash. Oh, I guess there’re different.
6. Short time vs long time. That sounds kind of suggestive. No, it’s not. Now, if I put “GI” with it, then maybe, but you would have to know what it means. Alright, we’ll keep it if it gets past the censors.
7. Short arm inspection. All the Military people are laughing, well, at least the guys. I think I’m going to go up and turn the mature audience sign on. Wait a minute, we’ll push it just a little farther. Okay, if you say so. But I’m going to deny everything.
8. Short on Umbrage. What’s that? I don’t know! Sounds good. Okay, another keeper.
9. Short on Integrity. You’re talking about Politicians? Damm Right!
10. I got one, Short on Brains. Politicians again? Yes. But that’s like what my English teacher said about me. No, she said, a Little short on Brains. Politicians are a lot short on Brains. Sounds good. I think we’re done. But I have one more to make eleven. No, I think we’ll stay with ten. God only has ten, you don’t want to piss God off, do you, making him look like he couldn’t come up with one more. No, I guess not. What was your number eleven? It was Short Tempered. Wait a minute, I have an idea. Put it down as number eleven. Okay.
11. Short Tempered. Good. Now cross it out. Great, now we’ll offer it to God. Maybe he’ll catch the hint, Crotchety old man threatening us with hellfire. I’m going to go hide out for a few days just in case he does get pissed at us. Can I come with you?
No, I think we should split up. But then we wouldn’t be Dual, we’d be Singular. That’s okay, it’s just for a few Days. Okay. Meet back here a week from Sunday. Do you mean Saturday? Yes, that’s right, God will be tired by then, he’ll want to rest on that day.
Stay cool, brother. You too.
