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“Oh dash it all!”

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“Oh dash it all!” cried he,
in tones most desolate. 
“Pray tell me, chaps—have you observed,
my toddy’s wayward fate?”

“…before the friar’s gate
it vanished, quite without a trace,
like empire’s fading gleam,
one sip too short of paradise—”

“But now it’s gone, my liquid soul,
my heart’s one true desire.
Perhaps the spaniel took a nip?
Or Auntie, in her cups?”

So searches he with monocle
and cane in trembling hand,
while Britain’s rain weeps softly on
this tragic, toddy-less land.

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