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Hypotenuse

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“You don’t look like a math person,” he said. I didn’t answer—the numbers pulsed behind my eyelids, jagged and incomplete where the third side should’ve been. My fingers twitched toward the chips of ice in my whisky, “straight up neat.” I ask him if he was a hypotenuse type person. He responded, ” a hippopotamus is too hard to house train, but my ex-wife has a chihuahua.” I’d spent fourteen hours tracing the same Pythagorean nightmare across napkins in three different bars, a car wash and a massage parlor with a neon sign that kept buzzing. “Buddy,” I muttered, dragging the condensation off my glass to sketch a right angle. “You ever wake up missing something that wasn’t yours to begin with, like your virginity?” He told me that he had never been to Virginia.

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