discontent heart systematically stripped of self esteem
lavish sin flaunted without remorse has scarred my heart
broken trusts sings me awake during nightmares
in dreams they enter, my friendly demons
acting out my current life so I can see where I folly
some see demons as evil
when it’s really the smile that lies looking oh so pretty
there is no honesty there, just emptiness
no wonder my heart hurts and my soul’s tummy grumbles
my wandering being learned early not to trust people
being hopeful this time would be different, it never was
after my mom abandoned me at three I learned the cruelty of people
if it had ended there I wouldn’t feel utterly broken
deserving only hand me down counterfeits for real love
if such a thing exists, it never has for me
and please don’t tell me about grace from a God who chooses to terrorize
over a simple embrace
my instincts say what appears beautiful in this world is laced with poison
putrid to the core with no real value
