The night lay veiled, no stars above,
A silent, frozen tomb.
A deadly stillness bound my love,
And filled the world with gloom.
Where were my guides, my constant light?
The stars had fled the sky.
A gaping void, an endless night,
Where all my hopes passed by.
The silence held my voice, no more,
The wind lured me along.
I yielded to the shadowed door,
And found his quiet song.
His hair alight with silver fire,
Like winter’s drifting snow.
His eyes held embers, ancient pyre,
A gentle, spectral glow.
He stole my breath, with no repine,
A calm, unearthly trance.
He drew me where the stars align,
And through the void we danced.
In his embrace, I am held still,
As waltzing through the vast.
My phantom steps obey his will,
The shadowed seeds are cast.
A dance with death, my spirit soars,
Where distant church bells toll.
No mortal chain can bind the door,
Nor cage my boundless soul.
Well done! An apt poem for this liminal season. 🌼
Thank you, Average Joe! I’m glad it felt in tune with the October spirit. There’s something about this liminal season that makes the shadows and the dance feel just right. 🌙🍂
It takes a rare skill set to verse a formal poem. Colour me impressed.
Hi Rob,
Thank you! After trying my hand at this, I’ve realized that writing formal poetry is a lot harder than it looks, haha. I’m really glad my attempt still read well — that means a great deal to me. I’ve always admired the discipline and musicality of formal verse, so your words truly resonate. It’s very much appreciated.
This is one magnificent piece Romaj. Beautiful, atmospheric, transcending, mesmerizing. You’re a very talented poetess.
Thank you! I’m so glad the atmosphere and mood came through. Your kind words are truly appreciated.
Outstanding piece. The rhyme scheme is right on, and the meter flows really well. Lastly, the story told plays out like a lilting song. You are surely gifted at writing.
keep doing what you do, you’re quite good at it.
Thank you, Styxian! I’m so glad the rhyme, meter, and story felt like a song to you. This was my first attempt at writing in this style, and it’s definitely harder than it looks, haha. Your kind words mean a lot and really motivate me to keep learning and improving.
It’s always a treasure reading your poems. The rhyming is fantastic and the story too.
I loved the stanza about the quiet song!
You made this look easy. Great piece chica!
Thank you so much! I’m really glad you enjoyed it– and especially that the stanza about the quiet song stood out to you. I had so many different versions of that one, so I’m thrilled it still came through the way I hoped. It definitely wasn’t as easy as it looks, haha, but your kind words make it feel worth the effort!
Brilliantly penned, Roma. Excellent flow my friend with your precise trademark imagery on display. I dig this! Appreciate you.
Damian
Thank you so much, Damian! I really appreciate your kind words. I’m glad the imagery and flow resonated with you–it means a lot coming from you. Always grateful for your support!
I read this twice to bask in the wonder and transcendence of your poem. The imagery tied together into a dream of exquisitely woven artfully crafted tapestry of high poetic art. I could feel this deep in the marrow of my being. From start to finish this is an impressionist beauty as eloquent as it is profound. The ending felt like a release of your unbounded spirit. A celestial dance of unfettered freedom. Superbly composed.
John
Thank you so much, John. Your words are truly humbling. I’m thrilled the imagery and rhythm resonated so deeply. It means a great deal that you could feel the “tapestry” of the poem in that way. Your description of the ending as a celestial dance beautifully captures what I hoped to convey. I really appreciate your generous and insightful reading