1. color coded
I hear colors speak
blue says I need therapy
red says start a fire
2. where gravity forgot me
mood swings on ceilin
laughin where gravity quits
I clap in defeat
3. fetch boy
shadows bark my name
I toss one a broken thought
it brings back a grin
4. rogue epiphany
clarity short out
thoughts glitch like gods on crack
I praise the misfire
5. what’s the bleedin time
time drips off the clock
hours crawl tired broken beasts
I step over noon
6. the mirror wouldn’t take my face so it gave me someone I almost recognized
mirror won’t commit
gives me back one version twice
both of us look tired
7. swore under oath
rationality
face down hands cuffed to my tongue
heart screams alibi
Love ’em, Dru ⭐
“Excellent” suite of “brilliant” Senryu, in every sense of “these two words”: counts, directives, creative imagination, and intent to follow in the spirit of the truly tangible, many facets of what the Senryu form is meant to convey.
Within the scope of your Seven Senryu Suite, you’ve offered us a perfect example in each just how amazingly creative, abstract expression serves in exemplifying the flexibility and vastly encompassing scope this brief, yet complex, form truly can be when utilized by the free-spirited poet’s mind.
No apology is necessary (or, appropriate) for displaying the developing span of your enviable acumen … you should be proud to share your growing flexibility as an artist.
Really good stuff, Syr Poet … thank you sincerely for sharing your exceptional skills! ⁓ Richard🖌
much appreciated Rich. I enjoyed learnin it from ya.
Thank you, Dru 🙏
I consider your expressed enjoyment a compliment that deems my endeavors ever-so deeply worthwhile and rewarding … you make teaching and sharing a pleasure.
Your abilities to perceive and follow detail reveals an exemplary potential. And, from others’ positive reviews, I see they feel much the same as I do about your developing skills and knowledge. : )
Ok you had to do seven not just one. lol These are really good.
well…I’ve always struggled with moderation. I like to over indulge. lol
Okay, I’ve never written a Senryu in my life, I’m too lazy to do that. I don’t know much about them: when I saw they were difficult to do correctly, I moved on to my own difficult mise-en-scène: blowing up words and phrases until they made people laugh, regardless of spelling, context or what others thought. But I do know good, smart writing when I see, read, or hear it (my favorite), and you’ve certainly shown us you have that in spades. Or in Senryus at least. Nice work.
thank you. never written one either. just gave it a go with on the back to basics thing that Rich is doin. it’s interestin learnin new styles…am usually more of a rambler.
“shadows bark my name
I toss one a broken thought
it brings back a grin”
“clarity short out
thoughts glitch like gods on crack
I praise the misfire”
Powerfully penned, 253. Excellent writing my friend. Dig these lines above. I couldn’t pick one over the other, killer fucking lines brother. Appreciate you.
Damian
appreciate you Damian. the second ya picked was the one I was most proud of. felt most like me.