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Schizophrenic Scripture

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Summary:
a poetic crash-out circa 2013...14...maybe ...shit is still fuzzy...ha-ha
in another                
attempt to put pen to paper                
i plot a course                
as ideas are omnipresent                
but today i’m filled with contempt                
cuz  there’s an ominous cloud                
hovering about                
making things a wee bit murky                
and without a pronounced vibe                
as the vehicle                
these jagged musings                
just linger in the labyrinth of the mind                
echoing in the halls                
of this endless cathedral                
banging in rebellion                
against invisible walls                
antagonists of a sooted soul               
awaiting combustion               
               
    
hence no linear frame of thought                
           
    
i’m told to just follow the bouncing ball              
my muse is a fucking sadist I tell ya                
amused by my childlike endeavors                
awakening between dimensions               
chasing remnants of ambiguous dreams               
like so many bubbles floating about              
can only pick one at a time                
handle with care               
or it’s bound to burst                
now watch this juggling act                
performed by a natural born klutz              
               
    
fuck               
               
    
amazed that anything ever gets done                
i’m forever undone                
psalms remain unsung               
some 20 years and counting                
my hung jury still deliberating                
instead of liberating me               
as the sands of this human hourglass                
grate against the psyche…               
a likely candidate for the rubber room                
an undercover psychotic                
i got it bad                
hiding my insanity in plain sight               
‘such a nice young man’               
yeah right                
walk a mile in these shoes                
and discover my civility was just a ruse               
i was hoping to pass through                
without incident                
stuck between realms                
with hands glued to a whimsical pen              
one day i’m basking in the sun                
the next i’m praying for the apocalypse                
cuz one of my wandering warlocks                
hates this fuckin place                
               
    
it’s like                
the clash of titans inside here i swear                
with an insidious inside joke being played                
cuz someone had the nerve                
to name me Prometheus                
but to this day                
i still ain’t get the damned memo…               
they tell me it’s just a harmless rumor                
but i think my alter ego                
is talkin shit behind my back               
when i catch up with his ass                
there’s gonna be a misunderstanding                
probably stab him in the jugular                
with my pen                
then maybe i’ll be able to think straight                
instead of drinkin straight                
with no chaser                
to soothe my anxiety                
               
    
i’m a hot mess                
i confess                
can’t tell the difference between                
scripture and scribble                
don’t really know                
where these words are going                
maybe i’m the author                
maybe there’s a ghosting-writer movin my hand                
tryin to write my epitaph on the low                
feels like oppression through possession                
caught up in the poetic version                
of fight club               
               
    
who’s pulling whose strings?               
               
    
i know i’ve been undermined               
too much shit still remains undefined             
who speaks when the pen leaks?               
who seeks to breathe through these scriptures?               
am i simply a mannequin who                
dons’ multiple masks of unknown entities              
or am i my own man?
 
i let you tell it
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    6 COMMENTS

      • Yeah this one was a journey indeed. Just to be in that chaotic creative space still feels like a blur. Glad you pulled up on this one, Willow.

        Much luv

        Naaj

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