rhapsody for the dyin sound

the bench was cold
hands shakin
left waits
it’s sick of me
tired of me makin it ask
finds the low A
presses down hard
askin me to open enough to break
right hovers
fingers twitchin
a restless charge in the dark

damper pedal down
my god
my only fuckin god
I press and it answers
heavy and absolute.
toe sunk
breath hooked to it
palm ready to beg
pinnin the sound to the room
haulin the dirt and the ache
breathin life into notes
I couldn’t let die
a holy crash where everythin holds
locked inside of me

the first cord breaks loose
the room jerks awake
dust lifts from the strings
in a long awaited scream
and I can’t stop
left hand a hammer
right hand tearin the notes raw
sound spillin rough and bright
too loud for sunrise
too small for the noise in my head

the quiet violence of hittin the keys
not just sound but a breakin
a collapse runnin thru my chest
every chord split open
every strike a release
I can’t find anywhere else
my body shudders with it
teeth grindin
lungs empty
pressin harder
into the collision of wood and wire
where there’s a peace
a twisted relief
the only way I know
to bleed out without bleedin

the pedal holds my wreckage
lets it throb against the walls
til breath and sound
are the same pain
and my right hand climbs the octaves
then it falls
a drunk kissin the pavement
like it’s an old friend
left digs deeper
bass growlin
til the wood complains

sweat streaks the ivory
knuckles split
heart racin and empty all at once
the melody unravels
and I chase it
I fuckin chase it
poundin it back together
til every string
shivers against bone

so that when I finally lift the pedal
the silence doesn’t speak
it just stands there
gatherin itself
ready to rip apart everythin
I just put back together