I remember my father
Would leave his police
Issue revolver out in the open,
In this one room at his
Old house.
I was twelve
And,
I would stare at it
Practising in my head
Where to place it,
Against my skull
So I wouldn’t fail.
I wish
I would have given
In to those rehearsals.
Anything for permanent
Unconsciousness.








grim… but compelling xx
I feel for you but honestly you are meant to be here or you wouldn’t still be here…I saw a poor guy who had shot his teeth out and still lived… I have had so many reckless moments I could have died but didn’t really I fight to stay alive because my night terrors say their is something worse out there after death… hopefully not for you but I trust the lie that we go into some bliss…