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Perpetually Dying

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I remember my father
Would leave his police
Issue revolver out in the open,
In this one room at his
Old house.

I was twelve
And,
I would stare at it
Practising in my head
Where to place it,
Against my skull
So I wouldn’t fail.

I wish
I would have given
In to those rehearsals.

Anything for permanent
Unconsciousness.

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    2 COMMENTS

    1. I feel for you but honestly you are meant to be here or you wouldn’t still be here…I saw a poor guy who had shot his teeth out and still lived… I have had so many reckless moments I could have died but didn’t really I fight to stay alive because my night terrors say their is something worse out there after death… hopefully not for you but I trust the lie that we go into some bliss…

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