but it was my home.
Not bricks and beams,
but words and souls,
connected in a space that held me
without question.
I don’t even have a home.
I live in an apartment,
but it never feels like home.
It’s just walls and floors,
spaces to sleep,
but not a place to truly be.
DUP — that was my home.
It felt like the one place
I could be me,
without hiding,
without pretending.
It wasn’t perfect.
It was messy,
and broken in places,
but it was mine.
It was real.
It was my home away from home,
when the world outside
never understood
or cared to.
Now, it’s slipping away.
The walls are closing in,
and all I have left
are the echoes of voices
that felt like family.
I can’t go back there.
Not really.
And it hurts.
Like losing a piece of me.
But I’m still here.
And I’ll keep carrying that piece.
Because even if it’s gone,
what it gave me —
that sense of being seen,
of belonging —
that’s mine to keep.
And I’ll find a new space.
Maybe one day,
I’ll make one of my own.
But for now,
I mourn.
And that’s okay.
Because this loss?
It matters.
I felt this. It was a home to so many people.
I don’t know but every time I go to DUP now, I see the purple banner letting us know. We’re on countdown mode, days minutes and seconds, and it just hit me hard again, and I’ve been crying for the last hour. I’m over it now as far as crying goes, anyway, but yeah, this is what came of it. Thank you for reading and commenting Fia❤️
Love you, your sister and Ink ✍️ ❤️
Jackie xo
Ps I was there for 14 years. I joined when I was 45 and 59. That’s a hard pill to swallow just saying.
It’s the family that makes the home and lots of DUPers are turning Starsrite into a new safe have.
Good…. Different.
Excellent point, and I feel you— I’m grateful for this place❤️❤️❤️❤️ I truly am it’s this place that’s keeping me from really going hard and deep into sadness so yeah you’re right. Thank goodness we have starsrite!
Nice to meet you, Peter☺️❤️
Thank you for reading my poem and commenting. It means a lot.
Your new friend
Jackie xx
Your welcome Jackie…..we all need friends even just words from friends can make all the difference.💋
So true Peter ❤️
I didn’t know DUP brokedown. I stopped using it a while ago.
I feel you. Being a user for many years building friendships and belonging to a poet family and then be cut off from that it feels like losing a member of family!
Hello M.E Yeah, well I’ve been on the underground since 2012 and that’s literally 14 years of my life. and while they’ll never be another place like Dup, I am grateful we’re all migrating here, some some place new. I myself am grateful for that.
Jackie ☺️
I feel you, Jackie. Even though I deleted my account two months ago, I can’t look at the purple banner when Instill read people there.
I’m so glad you’re here and everyone else I know and don’t know from DUP is here. It’s the closest place to home I found.
I can’t delete my account. I’m gonna let it go down with the ship. I don’t know why it’s not when I saw that damn purple banner just hit me really hard and it’s not getting any easier and finally when that day comes when you click on the little icon it takes you nowhere that’s when the tears storms gonna fall. I can’t help it, the Underground was a true part of my life for so long…
Thanks for reading and commenting.
I appreciate you.
Adria❤️
Jackie xo
I understand, I truly do💕
❤️
hello Jackie I feel this deeply I love you 💕
You know, Willow made a really good point as many others have pointed out as well. It’s not where you are. It’s who you’re with❤️ and we are all making this new place our home and I’m just glad to see everybody. You guys are all my family in my heart anyway..
I know you do Crim❤️❤️❤️
It matters so much more than some may notice & will be felt long after the lights go off. When the community gathers in one place, it remains intact. I keep reminding myself that home is where the family is & where the welcome mat greets us. You’re not alone in your grief
Excellent words Willow. You’re right, it’s not where you are, It’s who you’re with. I am grateful truly grateful that we have this new platform to be here together, doing what we do best, creating and being kind.
It’s very nice to see you. Don’t be a stranger, ok
Jackie ❤️
This loss matters indeed, my friend.
It’s deep and it’s real Detritus