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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Fia Naturie posted in the group ”BACK TO POETRY BASICS”
Was born with eyes wide open
To be prepared for the truth
Not wanting to offend
What had happened on the roofHolding pasts in a box
We crawl, we stand, then walk
Rusty keys enter locks
Speaking words before caughtStreams of tears without sound
Lover’s end, rings withdrawn
heartbeat forever unbound
Dawn shows you were a p…Read More2 Comments-
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you
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![Profile picture of FlatDaddy]()
FlatDaddy posted in the group Welcome Group
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![Profile picture of FlatDaddy]()
FlatDaddy posted in the group Welcome Group
I’ve spent the vast majority of my life as an entertainer; even during my four years in the US Air Force, I did a short tour of European air bases as part of a “Tops in Blue” show featuring talent chosen from competitions at air bases throughout Europe. It lasted just a few weeks, but I was also active in the base theater group and acted in…Read More
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It looks like I was successful — to a degree. Fia granted me a Spoken Word group to run. Now I have to figure out how to do it. I need other people who want to be active in Spoken Word to join to post their work there, discuss their work and that of others and do anything they can to promote our work.
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FlatDaddy joined the group
Welcome Group
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![Profile picture of RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS]()
RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS posted in the group ”BACK TO POETRY BASICS”
GOODNESS, TFT!
Now, THAT is a proper Sonnet … it’s obvious you’ve done your homework.
Your creativity sparks, emotion sings, and diction dances. And, I like your use of elision. Could use a bit’a punctuation.
See critique and edits below:I said I don’t do THIS. POems that behave (STRESS-STRESS / a count long)
that count their beats and…Read More![Profile Photo]()
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![Profile picture of RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS]()
V3L4 should be: What’s next, a ballad? Maybe, one or two.
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
much appreciated. good luck convincin me to use punctuation 😉
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![Profile picture of RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS]()
Now, Syr Bard
Post it so everyone can enjoy your amazing flexibility and creativity with a poet’s pen.
I’ll be first in line to review it for you! ⁓ Richard
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Okay, Fia 👌 Thanks for your submission and participation. You’ve made a very good start, with the basic format of a Sonnet down pat … 3 Quatrains and a Rhyming Couplet, and your rhyme-scheme is spot-on. In particular, your topic is interesting, with emotion depth, strong metaphorical imagery, and captivating ambiance that sets the mood. With a b…Read More