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Damian DeadLove and
Neville are now friends
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Adelphina wrote a new post
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Haha this is so cool. I can not tell you how many mosh pits erupt at the last Metallica concert I went to. From opening bands
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Beautifully penned, Adel. Into the book it belongs! Gotta love a musical write that appreciates the mosh pit! Excellent work my friend. I knew Mark would bring up Sabbath! Appreciate you.
Damian
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Girl, this has so much spirit in it. Sometimes the “just for fun” ones actually light up the room. Big smiles all around on this one.
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Adelphina posted in the group Published Authors
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Damian DeadLove wrote a new post
20 Comments-
I’m big on the closing lines of a poem. What an impact they make. It’s the impression your reader walks away with, that stays in your head like a song you can’t shake. The lost loves and the unrequited loves are always on my hit list. You nailed this one, Damian…so good!
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This was hidden? Man, this was screaming to be let out. “No winners because the race was fixed.” Yup.
This is a great piece, cuz -
The last stanza is a real ass kicker! The rhyme scheme is cool too. It’s obvious that you care about your results. It shows in your craftings. This is thought provoking, but not heavy. Well done Damian.
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Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Mark. So glad you connected with the write my friend. It was an ass kicker, I penned this during a time of self-therapy and reflection. I’ve always cared, always executing is another story. This was a cool discovery, because I had forgotten about it. lol. Appreciate you.
Damian
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I too enjoyed the rhyme scheme. Everyone can relate to this. We’ve all been there.
When you both know it was over a few months back!
Great write amigo! -
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Now aint that the truth so bloomin well poemed .. Say it like it is why don’tcha eh .. Great ink Damian & subsequently awarded Nev’s dubble 👍👍
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This is dark, deep, and brilliant, Damian. I’m glad you dug it out of the vault! The honesty in this poem is cutting, and the final lines–“instead of owning we rented / while love got strangled” –are a phenomenal, memorable finish. A wicked good read.
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“another moment dies”
That’s the thing people lose sight of. Once the moment is gone…it’s gone. What we make of it bears a lot of weight. I’d rather carry honest weight than the baggage of pretense. I’m glad you found this one. It needed to breathe, my friend
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Kelly Scheppers wrote a new post
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readin this hits hard so full of pain I’ve been there but that is the nature of love isn’t it to bring us so much pleasure then so much pain no way around it… great write ❤️
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its that kind of stuff that will always get in the way and stops us in our tracks every time isn’t it .. the guy was a fool .. and just between you n me .. I know a good hitman who owes me a favour or two .. write on K .. N
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It took me a while before I got “used to” a lonely bed. Kelly, your poem hits home, and all I can think to say is, it’s a hard task sleeping in a lonely bed, where memories linger and the smell of them remains, even after many washings of sheets.
How about a game of gin rummy, over a triple shot of Black Label on the rocks? ;0)
Curt
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You are a very good writer yaknow.
And, you must be pretty young, because Jack Daniels is for the younger crowd (so I’ve seen, lol) and we older folks sip Jim Beam. Of course there’s Jamison, but it feels stereotypical when I drink it, LOL.
You ensnare us with all the intricate details within your writes. The thread count sheets, as an example. That is precision detail.
You could easily carry a longer write, and we would be most grateful, because you write so well. It’s good to have you here, you bring quite the talent. -
Wow, you sure know how to articulate a compliment! Thank you most kindly for acknowledging the precision detail in my work. I strive for that, that and writing with the brevity of words. I do have lengthier pieces, which I will be posting soon. It’s good to be here. I am quite comfortable in the company of kindness! You’ve made my day. Thank you, again!
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Fine, Metallica it is, when next we bed together. What!
I prefer Black Sabbath, but that’s some dark shit. I’ll get all trippy on ya. LOL