I sat on my back deck with my brew and just read this.Some of the best and worst words come together there….right?

I enjoyed this piece.👍

This is chilling and deeply resonant. The way you transition from the ordinary calm of a morning brew to a dark, haunting spiral is so effective, leading right up to the sharp edge of “living in the USA.”

​The shift from “perfect memories” down the “woodchuck hole” into Shadowland is a brilliant and clever way to illustrate how easily we drift into isolation and self-absorption. It’s a dark and honest piece, just how I like my morning coffee. Great write!

This is brilliant, dear redzone, a masterpiece! Your imagery and the comparisons are very well crafted and breathtaking. There is nothing more threatening than to let the core of your being die while you are alive, and go on living unaware, merciless and without interest in the people around you.

I love, love ‘downhome” type writings. it’s my own start back in the day, so I have a fondness for what others can describe.
You succeeded wonderfully. The core value of what you were after stays true throughout the write. So the reader can sense that too, effortlessly.
Great stuff.

I like how the poem weaves together memory, myth, and landscape -using Kilimanjaro and the elephants as both witnesses and carriers of history, loss, and hope. I feel the weight of longing for someone gone, but also a sense of resilience, as if the mountain and the rain hold the promise of renewal and freedom.