Sounds rough and sad to me at the same time.

Well now, Benjamin 🍷

Here, in this gobsmacking piece, is the exact point of issue I was making when you mentioned being “an undisciplined Free Verse poet” … there’s nothing about this poem but an excellent use of skillful poetic devices to command the reader to halt, proceed, imagine, and “feel” every moment, twist, turn, and diversion into your wondrously rendered world of abstract, mind-bending ambiguation, and I say this while sitting here bulge-eyed and jaw-dropped, not only from your phantasmagorical diction of verbosity, but how you’ve used white-space to create mood and imagery, while capturing and holding your readers’ spellbound attention.

Sheesh, M’Friend, it’ll take awhile to shake this one from my consciousness!
Good, really GOOD stuff, Syr Poet! Thanks for the rare experience! ⁓ Richard🖌

I feel this piece. Nice

I hear that man. Cool write.

Nice set up. Can’t wait to read the rest

Powerfully penned, Benjamin. I concur with Fia, excellent write my friend. Appreciate you.

Damian

thunder, now passed,
praising rain on a lean-to…
this high & sky
full of mist & wist,

satisfied shine, rich
with daggered eyes in flight…
earth & alighted, poor
with cosmic delusion…

cockatrice glare
through fog & moon.

‘thunder, now passed,
praising rain on a lean-to…
this high & sky
full of mist & wist,

satisfied shine, rich
with daggered eyes in flight…
earth & alighted, poor
with cosmic delusion…

cockatrice glare
through fog & moon.’

Superbly but subtly visual, pensive yet explicit? Why not, sez I.

This gives me the scene of a poet upon a stage, reciting their words to an eager crowd. I have a feeling that reciting it makes it stronger. A voice that knows where the bullets go.
Strong write. Awesomely done.