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Backdeckbenny (Peter) wrote a new post
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Daniel Long wrote a new post
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Daniel Long wrote a new post
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Drieks wrote a new post
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The imagery of a heart shaped hole is amazing. I love the symbolism and the way you elaborate your feelings. You matched this up well with the music.
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Daniel Long wrote a new post
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I can seriously feel the tension in this piece, Daniel. You’re building this beautifully. My recommendations are to look at other options for the word, ‘snow’. It becomes redundant. Also, Chloe might refer to the men in the shadows as ‘bad boys’, but Gwen and the narrator may want a more specific term – something more specific or sophisticated and relevant to the circumstances.
Your writing is compelling
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“Repeat after me… Repeat after me…”
Okay, I admit it. You’ve totally hypnotized me.
Now what are you going to do?