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Backdeckbenny (Peter) wrote a new post
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What I write! And done on the toilet! Lol
This is quite the masterpiece. I enjoyed all the back and forth. Like reading a tennis match.
Caveman vs the 21st century.
Well done!Loved the ending!
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I am somewhat jealous; my toilet poetry is usually flushed because of the brown streaks. You write of the ying and yang of individualism, the brown streaks versus what once was. We humans have lost touch with our origins. We once made cave art, danced and howled at the moon; where it was women who ruled the campfires. And in some ways, we were more intelligent than we are today. We could talk to animals and create myths about the formations in stars. We will never get back to this, but I do think we can create a society where we once again talk to animals and reach for the stars.
Your poem is thought-provoking and appreciated. Thanks for the share.
-Curt/redzone
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Pandy wrote a new post
2 Comments-
Your beautiful and tender ode to la luna is much needed and appreciated by these weary eyes. To sit out late at night beneath her pallid light while the world goes on oblivious, is true poetic medicine. I praise your use of, welkin, something mystical about that word. Gorgeous write, my friend.
Clay
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Pandy changed their profile picture
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redzone wrote a new post
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This poem beautifully channels Neruda’s sensual spirit. The union of passion, earth, and language. The imagery feels both intimate and elemental, echoing the way Neruda made love and nature inseparable.
It’s a stirring tribute that captures his essence…beautifully penned.
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You turned the poem into something else with this, “and all the common words of my peasant’s pen.” Following the next verse, IF you didn’t brilliantly did this, it would have been just a strong sensual poem, but with how amazingly You brought a higher level with the last two line of verse one, then the gorgeous verse two, is what makes the poem very special to me, exploring and expressing a deeper connection. I believe Pablo would admire this🤍
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One of the things I love about Neruda’s poetry is his use of everyday words. With them, he word paints images, metaphors and a feeling of LIFE that exists and surrounds us with HOPE.
Light, thank you so much for your insight and understanding of what I wanted (no, needed) to express. If Neruda were still alive, I think I would be tempted to send this poem to him.
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