I love this. Thank you 😊

Brilliantly penned, Fia. Love this story my friend, the dialogue definitely gives it a 40’s vibe. Fantastic write. Appreciate you.

Damian

Thank you and I appreciate your comments.

Love what you’re doing, girl. Honestly, this feels much older than the 40’s to me. Darrius feels somehow like a pirate, and Vivian his captive. Of course, she isn’t a prisoner. Or is she? This is intentional.

And Darrius is such an egotistical SOB. What guy tells a woman that everyone on board can see her intentions? That’s a guy who is overly confident, a guy who wants to make things more difficult for himself, who creates a challenge from a gift.,

Love the dialogue. There’s limited description and imagery here, which is actually where you might more specifically date the scene as if that really mattered. My one suggestion would be backing off spoon feeding your reader about the thoughts and feelings of your characters. Let them act it out, and we can all come to our own conclusions.

You’ve got a lot to cover in two more chapters. The centerpiece of this mysterious journey has yet to be exposed. What would be the purpose of searching out a flower under the urgent circumstance of war?

I hate writer’s block.

Writer’s block is never fun, Thomas. Appreciate you.

Damian

Thank you. You are right.

I enjoyed the frankness of this piece.
Regards
James

Thanks.

So many parts missing

Powerfully penned, Brenda. Thanks for sharing my friend. Appreciate you.

Damian

Superb work.

Beautifully penned, Fia. Fantastic storytelling my friend, I dig the 40’s vibe as well. Incredible start to this story, very interesting write so far. Appreciate you.

Damian

Very engaging. And yeah I also enjoy the 40s vibe.
Great ink

Excellent. You bring this to life.

What is the ‘Fantasia’ Flower? Are we to find out about this, or am I supposed to know?

You would certainly think Vivian would presuppose that Mr. Hooker might expect substantial incentive to carry her off for the purpose of finding a flower, regardless of her alluring appearance. She’s asking quite a lot here – expertise, transportation, financial collateral. What is she offering as enticement? I get the impression that Mr. Hooker is European? (His father was a knighted Botanist?) That suggests he comes from money, though Botanists don’t make any. He must have been independently wealthy. Botany was a hobby.

As you proceed with your tale, don’t forget that there is a war raging in Europe. Britian is being bombarded by blitzkriegs and at the verge of collapse. France has fallen to the Germans. The US will be involved within the year. It’s not a time of luxury and leisure unless you happen to live in Berlin. The depression began in 1929 and lasted until the war in 1941. All travel overseas is suspect and risky. You would expect someone like Darrius to be involved with the war as most of the male population his age.

The writing is crisp, Fia. I like it. Raiders of the Lost Ark was staged during this time period. One of my favorites!

xoxoxo