The last 2 lines are perfect for this. Nicely done

Damn…you always take me somewhere with your poetry. This one is no exception. Give those last 2 lines their just dues. They’re fantastic, my friend

Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Raven. So glad you connected with the write my friend. Appreciate you.

Damian

Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Mary. So glad you connected with the write my friend. Means a lot to me. Appreciate you.

Damian

You’ve gotta give yourself more credit, Damian.
The last lines indeed suppressed my own voracious appetite. The last stanza is my favorite.
Nice spill my friend. xx
~P.G💋

That’s razor-sharp and sinuous—like a poem with fangs. The alliteration of “verbal viper” and “voracious appetite” creates a rhythmic coil of menace and desire, as if the speaker’s confronting a charmer who cloaks cunning beneath sweetness. The image of truth dangling just out of reach—“suspending the obvious”—gives this a wicked elegance.

Your writing has only improved with time, Damian. Your struggle with the ending paid off in a victorious way.

Great poem/

And ty for your comments, they’re much appreciated.

hello beautiful Fia I’m sorry you’re feeling icky I hope yu feel better soon drink some green tea with a little tumeric it should help 💕great write

Thank you, Ravens:)

Get well…..words need to be written.

😷

Get well, Fia. Even when you’re sick, you write incredibly. Get so me rest my friend. Appreciate you.

Damian

Fia very sorry for your ailment. But you sure wrote a fantastic poem about it. Digs deep and you really made it an engaging read. Hope this comment finds you feeling better.

John

Sickness is sometimes like love. You don’t know if your coming or going.

Im reminded of the old adage…if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Goes right back to your other poem…gotta read the fine print. Believe the lies, trust the cardboard cut out caricature, you get what you deserve. Hitting nails on the head with a jack-hammer, as usual, my friend

hello dearest Damian karma always has her way well said I am depressed it feels heavy this poem great write 💕

“Been swindled under some false pretense”, def felt that line.
Nice penned my friend.

“grass is dead on the other side”. The older I get the more I feel that. Great ink.

Damian, I read and reread your poem. Took me into the heart of chasing rainbows and the stark reality that often is at the other side. Superbly crafted poem.

John

That hits with a quiet force—like courage stitched from trembling threads. The contrast between silence and the mask of bravery unveils a moment of deep vulnerability, almost like a portrait of someone holding themselves together just enough to get by. It carries the weight of all the things left unsaid when fear takes the reins.

Passionately penned, Fia & Darrow. Incredible collaboration you two. Appreciate you, both.

Damian

hello beautiful Fia and poet I’m not familiar with this is one of the best collabs. I’ve read in some time 💕

Thank you, Raven xoxo

Agree with Raven. That is one helluva solid landing at the end

Some endings never end, others end before they’ve really begun, but always the questions remain. Well played 🌼

Powerfully penned, Fia. You stuck the ending my friend, love the sleight of hand on the last line. Very clever, indeed. Appreciate you.

Damian