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![Profile picture of RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS]()
RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS posted in the group ”BACK TO POETRY BASICS”
GOODNESS, TFT!
Now, THAT is a proper Sonnet … it’s obvious you’ve done your homework.
Your creativity sparks, emotion sings, and diction dances. And, I like your use of elision. Could use a bit’a punctuation.
See critique and edits below:I said I don’t do THIS. POems that behave (STRESS-STRESS / a count long)
that count their beats and…Read More![Profile Photo]()
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3 Comments-
![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
much appreciated. good luck convincin me to use punctuation 😉
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![Profile picture of RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS]()
Now, Syr Bard
Post it so everyone can enjoy your amazing flexibility and creativity with a poet’s pen.
I’ll be first in line to review it for you! ⁓ Richard
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
twofiftythree posted in the group ”BACK TO POETRY BASICS”
I said I don’t do this. poems that behave
that count their beats and beg to sound profound
but here I am the fool you couldn’t save
all rhyme and reason. love still hangin roundI hate this form. it’s polished. cold. confined
like scrubbin blood just so it stains again
I tell myself to leave your heart behind
but every line just drags…Read More![Profile Photo]()
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![Profile picture of Paula Jobi]()
Paula Jobi wrote a new post
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Read MoreLADIES ROOM CONQUEST You are crying...I've been there and back......lean on me! It's ok...you don't have togo back out there! My name is Paula.Nice to meet you!You have a pretty smile. Yes you do!I have no reason to lie.You're shaking. Come here!I will comfort...
5 Comments-
![Profile picture of Backdeckbenny (Peter)]()
Cotton Candy is called Fairy Floss in Australia.
“She tastes like fairy floss”
Fact or fiction, you’re writing is always terrific and always grammatically correct.🌻
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![Profile picture of Paula Jobi]()
Thanks. I think I need to find more meaning in my life. I post everyday and have put together 2 books that no one has read. It’s starting to seem pointless. I may take a break soon or just give up.
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![Profile picture of Duhsjaak]()
Hoi hoi
Love this one.I went to a lezzie bar (one of the first in Amsterdam) with a lady friend of mine. It wasn’t really common for a guy to be there and my bum was lovingly slapped by some of the women on their way to the loo.
That’s why I know that there is always something going on in the loo.
My idea for you would be to drink a little less and love a little more. Love as in making love.
And never give up trying for happiness and very good writes….But hey, it’s only me. I read your writes no matter what.
Kind regards, Gus -
![Profile picture of RPM]()
Keep on write and keep on tasting the cotton candy. Don’t give up.
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![Profile picture of Visions_of_Insanity]()
You are super talented. Don’t leave!
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![Profile picture of FlatDaddy]()
FlatDaddy wrote a new post
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Read MoreWhen I grow up IThen will blow up myDress shirt and necktie(Bes’ suit too!), Heck IMeans I’ll wear LeviJeans and my tenniShoes, And I’ll choose toLose those ol’ blues, doDrink some good booze, too!Think I may snooze twoDays, read...
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![Profile picture of Willow]()
I don’t know if I ever grew up. Losing that spark of silly just seems tragic to me. Glad you stumbled on this old gem. Made me smile 😊
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![Profile picture of FlatDaddy]()
Oh, thank you! I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep it, but reading it again made me smile, too, so I thought I’d share it and see what others thought. If no one else leaves a positive note, you alone have made this venture worthwhile.
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![Profile picture of FlatDaddy]()
Thank you dearly my friend! I so need all this feedback! You and Willow have lifted me up today! It is I who need you!
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![Profile picture of redzone]()
You??!! Grown up?? Highly doubtful, not with pup-pies running around or with fishbowl gup-pies. And I am guessing you are good friends with that ‘flying’ Peter and his pixie friend. I think we “older” folk need a slogan or motto, something like “The older I gets, the younger I feels” (in mind if not in body…LOL). And of course we will also need a theme song, this poem will do quite nicely I think!!!! Go, FlatDaddy, GO! Keep on rockin’ tha stage!! And the crowd ‘snaps’ galore.
Curt
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![Profile picture of FlatDaddy]()
Oh, hell, Curt, you don’t want to REALLY get me going, do you? Really? Because I can do that, Curt. That’s what I was MADE FOR! You asked for it! Check out: https://starsrite.com/2025/09/26/i-know-why-im-here-how-bout-you-2/ That is me. And please, it is “Spoken Word,” so go to the bottom of the page where you can click it to hear the Audio version and follow along with the text.
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![Profile picture of Paula Jobi]()
Paula Jobi wrote a new post
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Read MoreGrandma's Blanket It's red and beige and Grandma gaveit to me when I was seven, just beforeshe died. It's been stolen a coupletimes by family but I tracked it down. My heavy Indian blanket used to cover me completely as a...
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V3L4 should be: What’s next, a ballad? Maybe, one or two.