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redzone posted in the group National Poetry Month
Diversity
Being a city boy
with Native roots,
I have always loved the feel
of cool, dew-laden grass
licking my toes;
the scent of pine needles
on the forest floor;
the way a blue butterfly
will sometimes land
on your outstretched hand.
As I wrap all these thoughts
inside my heart,
I begin to see the balance of life.
We are, all of…Read More3 Comments -
Damian DeadLove and
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22 Comments-
Hahaha, we’re getting a blend of soft core and hard core beautifully woven within this piece. We love the way that you flipped things showing your versatility and still kept it clean. Tight
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Passionately penned, Mark. This is an excellent write full of deep wonderful layers my friend. Always enjoy your storytelling my brother. Another amazing read. Appreciate you.
Damian
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Damn…the ragdoll analogy just knocked me on my ass. Some of us feel more ragdoll than ballerina all the time, and never a Barbie. I will say, as a girl who loved dolls, ragdolls are more resilient though, Barbies break easily. I love the quiet messages whispering through this
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I burned my sisters’ barbies, when I was a kid. They were older than me and mean sometimes. So i got my revenge. LOL.
And yeah, I like to take a somewhat subtle approach to erotica, usually. I’m more about what feelings and emotions are going on, than the action sequences. I leave that to those who are brave, I guess?
Thank you, Willow.
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There’s a level of intimacy conveyed with compassion and understanding
that effortlessly flows through your poetic verbiage, speaking to the human condition
like none other. Standing ovation all aroundMuch respect
Naaj
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I agree with Willow.
Ragdolls are more resilient. They might get scuffed up and look weathered over time but they are still together. Even if by some chance they do get torn apart, they can be sewn back together with new material or a different color of string. And maybe they can sew it themselves and choose a variety of colors or patterns we’ve always dreamed of.Love this piece!
Although when I was little I did get the Barbie car!! Haha
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Dear M,
I really enjoyed the analogies and storyline in this piece. The fragility of life and that sacred place in our heads where we go to live out our safety dreams was wonderful the way you expressed it. This was enthralling and emotionally moving. While I’d love to be ballerina Barbie I find more mental flexibility in being raggedy Ann. Lovely write. H🌷
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Awesome comment, H. And hey, good to see you onsite!
I edited the write a tiny bit. I took out where it said “still” in the lines where it mentioned ballerinas, etc. Because for many, it never comes to fruition, it stays just thoughts. I myself am a clutz. And I’m sure there ae more like me. LOL.
Your presence is a blessing.
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I was the kid who made “Weird Barbies”, complete with permanent marker makeup…
But anyway, your poem — gosh I love your writing. You seem to have a way of really seeing people, and all the various dancing, flopping dolls that they are in their heads. What a gift. And well… the subtle erotica… what a lovely addition. Three cheers!
❤️k
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Hey stranger!
And I love your very generous comment! I try hard to make my writes worth the reader’s time. It does matter. And your comment lets me know that it is worth the effort, so thank you!
So, what are you posting of yours? Hmmmm-
I am posting daily on Substack this month for Ahavati’s NaPo! But tonight is the first time I’ve remembered this place for a while, and yes – I will share some here too, stay tuned. I wish I could keep up with things here but for some reason I find it a struggle!
I think Substack is going to become my main creative hub for both poetry & music. I can’t handle spreading myself thin over all the possible places, unfortunately.
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Very good…. I love this part the way a blue butterfly
will sometimes land
on your outstretched hand.
As I wrap all these thoughts… A beautiful metaphor.. like if a butterfly can sense our thoughts . I do feel they sense those things too. Nice work… Keep it up