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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Fia Naturie wrote a new post
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Read MoreSeveral weeks at sea and no flower as yet. The crew was still in high spirits due to the captain’s demeanor Vivian suspects. She has been watching him since the day they set sail. The way he treats his crew...
4 Comments-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you and I appreciate your comments.
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![Profile picture of DampKitten]()
Love what you’re doing, girl. Honestly, this feels much older than the 40’s to me. Darrius feels somehow like a pirate, and Vivian his captive. Of course, she isn’t a prisoner. Or is she? This is intentional.
And Darrius is such an egotistical SOB. What guy tells a woman that everyone on board can see her intentions? That’s a guy who is overly confident, a guy who wants to make things more difficult for himself, who creates a challenge from a gift.,
Love the dialogue. There’s limited description and imagery here, which is actually where you might more specifically date the scene as if that really mattered. My one suggestion would be backing off spoon feeding your reader about the thoughts and feelings of your characters. Let them act it out, and we can all come to our own conclusions.
You’ve got a lot to cover in two more chapters. The centerpiece of this mysterious journey has yet to be exposed. What would be the purpose of searching out a flower under the urgent circumstance of war?
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
I will take your suggestion to consideration. Enjoying your take on this.
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![Profile picture of thoughtsdie]()
So many parts missing
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![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
hello dearest poet yes sadly thank you 💕
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![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Powerfully penned, Brenda. Thanks for sharing my friend. Appreciate you.
Damian
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![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
hello dearest Damian good afternoon thank you for reading and leaving a kind comment 💕
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![Profile picture of Thomas W. Case]()
Superb work.
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![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
hello dearest Thomas good afternoon thank you graciously for reading and commenting 💕
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![Profile picture of Eyes of a hidden woman]()
Eyes of a hidden woman and
Poetspeak are now friends
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![Profile picture of thoughtsdie]()
thoughtsdie wrote a new post
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Read MoreIt’s that same song again, the one I imagine playing at my funeral. A funeral I’m late to everyday. Lying in bed, I wait for someone to notice the dead body and have it removed. But...
3 Comments-
![Profile picture of Thomas W. Case]()
Powerful. Stay alive.
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![Profile picture of thoughtsdie]()
Why stay at all
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![Profile picture of Cipher]()
Powerful and profound… The Samurai believed that everyday one should consider oneself already dead. That we should meditate daily on death in the worst possible ways. Tis far out… Takes great bravery to endeavor upon such reflections. That is the kind of bravery I see here. The bravery to gaze into the abyss, which is perhaps an inevitability. Very nicely done thoughtsdie.
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![Profile picture of Eyes of a hidden woman]()
Eyes of a hidden woman wrote a new post
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Read MoreThere, is where I found myself: pressed between him and a bookcase full of old books, smells like intelligent musk I'll never forget: how my pussy clenched, body violently shook and spilled over his tilted thick mushroomed brim; before :before...
16 Comments-
![Profile picture of Pandy]()
Damn, this is hawt.🔥 You really drew me in too, and I look forward to reading more from you. 🌸✨
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![Profile picture of Eyes of a hidden woman]()
Thank you lovely one🌹
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![Profile picture of Pandy]()
My pleasure..
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
This imagery is so hot. Enjoyed this piece.
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![Profile picture of Eyes of a hidden woman]()
Thank you lovely one, 🌹
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![Profile picture of Duhsjaak]()
Hoi hoi
Short and sweet.
I love it a lot!
Good thing that you posted it.
I’ll be back for another read.Kind regards, Gus
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![Profile picture of Eyes of a hidden woman]()
Thank you so much for the compliment 🌹
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![Profile picture of Poetspeak]()
The ending really brought this poem home.
Lust and vulnerability are a powerful duo.
BIG LIKE
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![Profile picture of Eyes of a hidden woman]()
Yes they are, lovely man❤️
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![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Beautifully penned. This write was absolute fire my friend. Appreciate you.
Damian
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![Profile picture of Eyes of a hidden woman]()
Lovely man, it is my pleasure to serve you❤️
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![Profile picture of Jim Musics]()
Reminds me of college.
Strong medicine.
‘Intelligent musk” genius stuff EHW.-
![Profile picture of Eyes of a hidden woman]()
Thank you lovely man, it’s whatever you desire it to be ❤️
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![Profile picture of Jim Musics]()
If both our desires are fulfilled, that’s what I want. 💚💙
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![Profile picture of Atticus Abbey]()
I just noticed this. Fantastic!
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![Profile picture of Eyes of a hidden woman]()
Thank you lovely man, I’m pleased to be within your eyes ❤️
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Brilliantly penned, Fia. Love this story my friend, the dialogue definitely gives it a 40’s vibe. Fantastic write. Appreciate you.
Damian