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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Fia Naturie wrote a new post
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Read MoreSeveral weeks at sea and no flower as yet. The crew was still in high spirits due to the captain’s demeanor Vivian suspects. She has been watching him since the day they set sail. The way he treats his crew...
4 Comments-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you and I appreciate your comments.
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![Profile picture of DampKitten]()
Love what you’re doing, girl. Honestly, this feels much older than the 40’s to me. Darrius feels somehow like a pirate, and Vivian his captive. Of course, she isn’t a prisoner. Or is she? This is intentional.
And Darrius is such an egotistical SOB. What guy tells a woman that everyone on board can see her intentions? That’s a guy who is overly confident, a guy who wants to make things more difficult for himself, who creates a challenge from a gift.,
Love the dialogue. There’s limited description and imagery here, which is actually where you might more specifically date the scene as if that really mattered. My one suggestion would be backing off spoon feeding your reader about the thoughts and feelings of your characters. Let them act it out, and we can all come to our own conclusions.
You’ve got a lot to cover in two more chapters. The centerpiece of this mysterious journey has yet to be exposed. What would be the purpose of searching out a flower under the urgent circumstance of war?
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
I will take your suggestion to consideration. Enjoying your take on this.
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Fia Naturie wrote a new post
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Read MoreThe year is 1940. A time where everything and everyone was in the swing of things. It was around that time that the great, granddaughter of Count Andre Spade was coming into her own in society.A well-educated lady with...
8 Comments-
![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Beautifully penned, Fia. Fantastic storytelling my friend, I dig the 40’s vibe as well. Incredible start to this story, very interesting write so far. Appreciate you.
Damian
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, I had this story running around in my head and I had fun writing it down.
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![Profile picture of Nick DC]()
Very engaging. And yeah I also enjoy the 40s vibe.
Great ink-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, Nick I will be posting part two
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![Profile picture of Thomas W. Case]()
Excellent. You bring this to life.
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, Thomas appreciates that.
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![Profile picture of DampKitten]()
What is the ‘Fantasia’ Flower? Are we to find out about this, or am I supposed to know?
You would certainly think Vivian would presuppose that Mr. Hooker might expect substantial incentive to carry her off for the purpose of finding a flower, regardless of her alluring appearance. She’s asking quite a lot here – expertise, transportation, financial collateral. What is she offering as enticement? I get the impression that Mr. Hooker is European? (His father was a knighted Botanist?) That suggests he comes from money, though Botanists don’t make any. He must have been independently wealthy. Botany was a hobby.
As you proceed with your tale, don’t forget that there is a war raging in Europe. Britian is being bombarded by blitzkriegs and at the verge of collapse. France has fallen to the Germans. The US will be involved within the year. It’s not a time of luxury and leisure unless you happen to live in Berlin. The depression began in 1929 and lasted until the war in 1941. All travel overseas is suspect and risky. You would expect someone like Darrius to be involved with the war as most of the male population his age.
The writing is crisp, Fia. I like it. Raiders of the Lost Ark was staged during this time period. One of my favorites!
xoxoxo
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Girl, you are amazing. How you just broke this down and gave a history lesson. You surprise me all the time.
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Fia Naturie wrote a new post
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Read MoreDo you feel the bass?It's deep rhythm strummed out to match your heartCan words create that soundCan thought mimic its emotion?Deeper and deeper it becomes carrying you on a dark currentTaking your very breath awayLouder it soundsvibrating its rhythmic tune...
7 Comments-
![Profile picture of Duhsjaak]()
Hoi hoi
Hope this finds you well.I don’t know if you did hear one of the cooperations I posted on DUP, of a DUP member and myself?
What you describe here is the essence of making music purely for fun.
Count to 4 and hammer away. Noise wonderful, tuning the guitar an option.Thank you so much for making and posting this wonderful poem.
Kind regards, Gus-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Hi Gus, I do not think I did hear the collaboration you had. It must have been fun. Thank you for liking and commenting on this.
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![Profile picture of Duhsjaak]()
There were some 10 or 12 coops all in all. They attracted anything between an estimated 4,500 and 12,500 listeners per song. All musicians, writers and 8 of them a coop with DUP’ers.
Women often have to work harder to get a decent stage. I attempted to mingle fun with exposure to Dutch and international public.
But no matter, DUP is a sort of history book by now.
I hugely enjoyed you poem. Was it an Ibanez bass?I wish you a beautiful Friday! Gus
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![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Beautifully penned, Fia. Into the book it belongs! I loved this write my friend, you know how much I love a write that has music in it, especially when were talking about the importance of the bass guitar. Appreciate you.
Damian
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![Profile picture of Nick DC]()
The strings are attached to the soul.
Very much enjoyed this one. Great ink
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![Profile picture of Poetspeak]()
I love the electric bass.
I go way back on that love with
Jack Casady who was with
Jefferson Airplane and Hot Tuna.
Others too of course.
They always said of Jack that
“he carries it” meaning that he’s the heart of the band and sets the tone.BIG BASS LIKE …. ALWAYS
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, yes, I love the deep vibration of it.;))
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Fia Naturie wrote a new post
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Read MoreHi, not sure what I'm doing up here but I think I can say a few words in front of all these stars because when I look out into the audience all I see is stars You’re a star you're a star and damn...
4 Comments-
![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
hello beautiful Fia damn right you’re a star great write keep shining 💕
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
You are one too. ;))
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![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Beautifully penned, Fia. Into the book it belongs! You’re already a star, and have been shining bright for a while now my friend. Congrats on 100. Appreciate you.
Damian
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, Damian
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Fia Naturie wrote a new post
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Read MoreI laugh because you don't see the blood dripping from my nails Be a good girl you said You want to be my good girl I never agreed to be good in any way shape or fashion I'll be good for that second...
9 Comments-
![Profile picture of Backdeckbenny (Peter)]()
This is quite an ‘arousing’ piece Fia…..at least pour moi.😜
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, Peter. 😊
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![Profile picture of Fred]()
What a piece you have presented here, great write indeed…
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, Fred 😊
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![Profile picture of M.E]()
Without both the good and the bad, both would be meaningless words. An interesting piece!
Now, bring the bad. 😀
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
On my way M.E.
Thank you ☺️
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![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Beautifully penned, Fia. “Kittens Got Claws,” comes to mind, which is a Whitesnake song. lol. This is a phenomenal write my friend. Appreciate you.
Damian
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
So cool. Thank you Damian ☺️
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![Profile picture of Thomas W. Case]()
Fantastic.
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Brilliantly penned, Fia. Love this story my friend, the dialogue definitely gives it a 40’s vibe. Fantastic write. Appreciate you.
Damian