I was thinking when i turn to 65yrs of my mom age now i thought I will stay in old age home care. Then my parents would leave me.
I was going over my thoughts now when my tears crossed my eyes i was pondering missing my son how to sustain in my old age. My thoughts suggested me to buy old age home flat they come with reasonable price which i would afford if I work next 20yrs. I know I will not he burden to my son. So I can be on my savings.
I know if I am in old age home what would I do i was thinking of compiling muggulu Kollam of different designs into a book and sell them. I will compile my poems books and keep it to myself to read in my free time.i would make collection of all books which I want to read and save them to read including religious and historical.
I can also write my books my views on religious books like Geeta. I will share my experiences in my life applying them. I never watch TV until it is news or something useful for me. I will make woolen knit wears. I will stitch my own clothes.
I will do gardening and cooking.
I know in my old age i will do something but will not sit idle..
Every phase in life makes us enjoy life. I see for few they struggle alot without living life properly. To me my life taught pass through each phase and live fully in each phase thoses phases pass through and you need to be ready to se next phase.if you stick in one phase scaring that you are not old enough you will be thrown away with sufferings..each phase has its gives and takes. When you completely live what god has given to you in life you are on right path else you accumulate karma which will ruin in next life..
I lived my life and faced life that is not normal. My ethics made me to walk path that is difficult for an average himan.. but god Is with me in every trouble. My small family my parents supported me so much. People my relatives laughed at me that i lost good life and got divorce and was in poverty.. i told to myself everything that happens has a reason for it. So I consoled my heart when ever my life took turns and twists.. i did much What a normal person cant do. I breathed those smells which were stinking even to see. I embraced that lonely life which is difficult to live for an average human. I climbed those heights in my career which are not easy. I studied those subjects for human in their midage would be difficult to. I walked alone to those cities in search of my home. I was in those countries where life is under threat with rifles and bombs and escort was needed. I enjoyed my small skills without caring my dignity and i cleared those debts which i paid out of my stupid things i did. I loved my husband who was never with me but in my life loving me every second I had good care and love from my parents where a woman will won’t get usually.
I love you god for everything you gave me in this life and I am proud to he your wife dear husband.
Jessy Jacob
This year 2026 gave me that i need to think of future living in future life what it will be.. my life ended this year turning me to useless in office everyone fired me. I thought I will not focus on my education so I was exploring other subjects and skills. Got confudence I would something otherwise it will be remark to god that he didn’t write my fate well. So i need to be strong to keep his respect. I did all my trials and sustaining through what I can. I dont want my mother goddess to cry fir me that i am suffering. So i swallow my tears and make cheerful face to walk in my life not crying at all.
We dream So much but all dreams will not come True and sometimes we lose more and sometimes life becomes empty and still you need to smile.. I atleast feel though I left my x husband and loved my husband i say i didnt wrong and for this there is a reason..I am the only lady after Radha rani that couldn’t live with her man Krishna. It doesnt mean I am facing life boldly that i don’t love my married life? i miss life with my son and my husband.
Though I do so many things missing them only to make them smile so that they are not worried about me..I know my sister inlaw will get hurt if I cry..
Jessy Jacob.
I see we can express feelings in a poetic way when you are happy when you are advising a moral or love.. but when you are sad you think of emotions and you cant focus writing in rhythm in rhyme. I do write only when my heart weeps I see I have something to say or share. …. other time i try to with some rhythm..