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Sam Nash wrote a new post
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Read MoreYou lied to me.You told me you were my friend.I believed you were godsendA lover, not hell bendOn destroying me. You tricked me.You told me we would be together. I believed we would be foreverA couple, not the devilBent on killing...
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![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Powerfully penned, Sam. Excellent write with amazing storytelling my friend. Nicely done. Appreciate you.
Damian
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Very good ink
Bat
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Sam Nash wrote a new post
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Read MoreIt was a beautiful spring day. Birds were singing, wild flowers were sprouting and we were riding towards our doom. More than fifty of us rode out of the school that day not knowing that less than half will...
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Rosie C and
Christopher are now friends
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PAR (Paulo Acácio Ramos) posted in the group National Poetry Month
The Louvre, the Funhouse, the Disco
April 24th arrives
already half‑forgotten,
like a dream you try to hold
but it keeps slipping
through the fingers of your mind.It brings with it
a fading memory
of the main room
of the Louvre…
not the paintings,
not the tourists,
not the velvet ropes,
but the room itself:
its b…Read More![Profile Photo]()
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Kay-1 wrote a new post
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Read MoreReflection Across the scuffed wood of this quiet booth,I slide a steaming mug toward your hands.You look so small, swallowed by that coat,Your eyes a restless map of practiced fear.I watch you stir the sugar, dark and deep,As steam...
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![Profile picture of FlatDaddy]()
This is a very powerful piece, Kay, but I would ask you not to use capital letters at the start of a line that is a continuation of the preceding line; it makes the reader stop unsure if this is part of the line above or a new thought. And use punctuation wisely, as a tool to guide the reader when needed. The better the flow, the more enjoyable is the read. This piece is very good as it is, and you need not change a thing; but try my suggestions and see how it feels.
I wonder: are you actually addressing another person — or yourself? It seems to me you are bucking up your own courage, but I could be wrong. It works either way. Nice work, my friend.
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![Profile picture of Kay-1]()
Thank you, Flatdaddy. I wholeheartedly agree with you. and I am speaking to myself (older me to younger me(
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Hey Sam.
Loved the structure of this. The poem is great but there was movement too.
I love those kind of writes.
I like how you transitioned to questions towards the end.
Spectacularly done amigo!