Oats Sown On a Wild Shore

Oats Sown On a Wild Shore

Jim could no more circumscribe the reflection of forever in her eyes than circumnavigate the infinite sea on which they sail.  

Her eyes have the blue fire of a habitable planet which beckons across the light years with warm oceans and aqua skies. They turn his heat driven tears into the laughter of birds singing in the wind.

From the observation deck, the milky blue marble adrift in the ancient and vast cosmos was a hypnotic pendant.

 Jim says, “Rochelle, please put this into the twentieth-century southern American patois you studied.”

“That planet looks like a pumpkin with the blues. She is hanging out there on a muscadine vine with more juice than a black hole of flap jacks on Mama’s finest china.”

“And what goes with those cakes?”

“Why the finest pancake drippings made from her corn syrup straight from momma’s garden where them ears grow nice and sweet.”

“Shucks I’d have never thought you knew what to do with an ear of corn. But it sure sounds like you do.”

“I’ve been shucking corn since I was knee high to a blackberry bush.”

“Well you sure know your stuff. So tell me what drink makes those cakes go down nice and smooth like blackberry jam?”

“Oh sure nuff honey. Nice cold sweet tea served with honey from Papa’s hive not none of that store bought stuff.”

“Tell me more about that big ole beach ball hanging out in front of our windshield.”

“She looks like one of them round ole watermelons straight from the patch but blue as a woman done lost her beau to them merchant marines.”

“Surely he’ll come back.”

“Well you know the sea got the charm of a preacher man’s mistress who can’t fool the flock no matter if she sits in the back of the church.”

“Rochelle, you passed the test with flying colors.”

“I aim to please. When we raise our children let’s teach them the ole suthern talk so they know a praline from a mint julep.”

Gordon sneaked up behind them. “You two look ready to populate this planet. As expedition leader, I approve of your foreplay. But in the interest of genetic diversity, it would be beneficial to have more than one sire.”

Rochelle said, “Are you volunteering, Gordon?”

“I’m just making a biological point which is yours to consider.”

“Gordon, my chromosomes will pair with Jim’s like hybrid tomatoes resistant to the blight of male chauvinism.” 

“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth,” Gordon quoted the Bible.

“Gordon quoting the good book for a pickup line lacks finesse. Troglodytes who use such lines don’t stay in a woman’s little black book for long.”

Gordon said, “Excuse me for interrupting you two. My neuronal computer interface is sending me distress signals.”

Rochelle said, “Am I disturbing you? I thought you wanted to go skinny dipping in the gene pool.”

“I was being facetious.”

Rochelle said, “That is one of those it’s comedic relief from the monotony of space travel if I say no but interstellar g-spot therapy if I give the green light with my quarters as the red-light district of Aethelred.”  

“The most fatuous lies lead to the truth.”

Rochelle said, “Shush yo mouth boy.”

Jim replied, “Rochelle, you are a linguistic swashbuckler with an invincible lexicon of twentieth-century southern American patois.”

She said, “I done learned enough bitching to put the fear of the Lord into men that do me wrong.”

Jim said, “Gordon, watch out, once we settle down on that planet and grow trees she’ll take a hickory stick to you if you cross her.”

“Rochelle, you don’t look so mean. I bet dollars to donuts you wouldn’t whip me” Gordon said.

Rochelle said, “Don’t count on it sucker. When my tongue gets to lashing it ain’t long before I get to switching.”

“Well I’ll keep my britches on around you milady,” Gordon responded.

Rochelle said, “You sure better because I don’t evah wanna see that tail wagging between yo legs. Now git your heinie on down the road fore I get all sassy and chew yo sorry ass out.”

Gordon said, “I hope your piloting skills will be as sharp as your cussing. Because frankly I am a bit worried about you handling the joystick of our landing craft. Women are often expert linguists but are your reflexes fast enough in an emergency?”

“Gordon remember our little fencing tournament when the tip of my foil came within a millimeter of your family jewels?”

“That was a most illegal move.”

“Below the belt is my middle name.” Rochelle looked at Gordon with a coquettish grin. “Boy you have squandered any chance you had of getting into my pants. Now go to your room and salivate over a directory hologram of me in my latex flight uniform because that is as close as you get. You can sit alone by your projector and bemoan the fact that 21^st century AI nudify technology was banned. No pinup Rochelle for Gordie tonight. But don’t feel bad. At least there are no holograms of you going full Monty and doing the cha cha going viral on the ship net. Saves you a lot of embarrassment and the crew a rude awakening in their inbox over morning coffee.”

She put on a smile straight out of a finishing school textbook for southern belles. “But don’t fret your little noodle, I can still cook up a mess of grub for you hungry guys because my competitive edge covers the culinary arts as well.”

Generations had passed onboard Aethelred. People dreamed of the open spaces and greenery of a planet like the mythical earth. They approached the new solar system, eager with anticipation.

Through their telescopes, they had sighted the distant planet. Spectrum-analysis showed it had enough oxygen to breathe. As they got closer, they found that the equatorial region had equable temperatures, much like the North Atlantic of distant earth.  

They settled into orbit with silent grace. After studying the planet for six months they decided to send the first landing party. The air was thick with excitement on board Aethelred. The landing craft looked like a spider with folded legs. There was a silver cone-shaped heat shield on the bottom. The stars were visible, glowing like candles in a sacred ceremony.

Below them, the ocean fanned out in an azure dream. Rochelle was squeezed between Jim and Gordon in the landing capsule like a baby bird in her nest. Aethelred, the only home they ever knew, looked like a caterpillar lost in the infinity of space hovering above the clouds of the planet. It drifted away until it was a pinpoint of light, then vanished. While checking systems they passed into the night, where far below in the sea of darkness Jim could see the glow of volcanoes.  

The final systems checks had been completed and the inertial guidance system was initiated. Lilith plunged through the atmosphere. A red fire blazed around the craft as it raced towards the planet’s surface.

Gordon was positively shaking in his boots. He said to Rochelle, “I hope you are as agile with that joystick as you are with a spatula. Because I don’t want to become a blue plate special.”

Rochelle stayed focused on the instrument panel. “I am impressed with your knowledge of old earth diners. Now hush little boy else I’ll put salt peter in your grub and your Casanova days will be numbered.”

Parachutes billowed in the air, slowing the descent. Rockets fired with brilliant fireworks. Then with a thump, they landed. The crew tested the atmosphere for poisons. They analyzed the surface and spent a week meticulously studying their surroundings. Finally, they departed the craft. The air was cool and salty. The soil was dull red and powdery with green lichen-like plants covering small boulders. Out in the distance, there was an azure blue ocean. The sky was deep blue. They were on a rise in the land and had a magnificent panorama. 

They camped out that night below a starry sky. The stars twinkled in the atmosphere, something none of them had seen in the vacuum of interstellar space. The wind rustled Rochelle and Jim’s polyurethane tent.

“You know when space travel became a coed adventure they never mentioned getting cozy on the orbiting outposts,” Rochelle said.

“Indeed, whatever fraternizing between the genders happened was kept under wraps.”

“And wisely not to make the astronauts sound like little space rabbits making whoopee. But don’t you know there must have been some commingling after the space suits were stowed away,” Rochelle said with a man pleasing smile.

“They kept those rendezvous hidden under the mylar sheets.”

“Yes, but the sound effects would have been hard to mute in the throes of passion,” she posited.

“Who could straight face after hearing such an operatic performance?” he answered.

“So little privacy in those old space stations. I can just see the guilty smiles of those lovers upon emerging from behind the curtains,” Rochelle said with her own version of a mischievous grin.

“Oh, and their crew mate’s teasing innuendo like ‘glad you two are mitigating bone and muscle loss with aerobic exercise’.” John replied. 

“Are you thinking what I am thinking?” she said.

“Let’s get a head start at populating this new planet,” John said with a happy elf smile.

“We will make history as the first people to make love on this orb. One big kangaroo bounce for man, one giant roll in the hay for womankind,” Rochelle proclaimed gleefully.

“I always wanted to see you without the astronaut trappings.”

“Get ready for the big bang, lover man.”

Misty-eyed, Rochelle unzipped his coverall trousers. He was bewitched by her face aglow from the light waves from the lantern splashing upon her cheeks like the surf from the sea they would soon see. His betrothed was so near and so palpable that he surrendered to her in the trembling moment of desire. He felt her body so warm and enticing in his arms along with the spicy sensation of her caress. 

Rochelle sat naked on the floor clasping her upturned knee in her hands. She looked so soft and vulnerable bathed in the lantern light. Her nude form cast in the lamplight seemed so fragile and delicate. Jim broke the silence. “This tent is our honeymoon suite.” 

Rochelle replied, “Roger Houston, glad the comm link was off. Connubial bliss is a private affair.”

“I wonder if Gordon, our next-door tent neighbor, got an earful,” Jim said.

“Oh, his little ears probably perked up,” Rochelle giggled.

 “He is like a hound dog sniffing around for scraps,” Jim answered with a clown face. “Let’s celebrate with Christmas songs.”

“That antiquated holiday has its charm. So old fashioned but delightful. My Yuletide repertoire is sparse. You begin.”

“Jack Frost nipping at my cock crest.”

“How about, Jill frost nibbling on my nether niblet? Mine isn’t singable either.”

“Still, I like yours better than mine.” 

“Oh, you and your earthlore. Leave it to you to bring up two-thousand-year-old song lyrics. You know, this landfall couldn’t have come at a better time, just before my biological clock made conception impossible.”

“Well, since the window of opportunity is small, we need to maximize our production. Would say a baby a year for the next five years be too much? After all, overpopulation isn’t a problem here.”

Rochelle said, “What a male thing to say. This oven can only handle two buns in a row. After that you get yourself fixed.”

“Our ancestors were Italians who had big families. Let’s carry on the tradition.”

“I can make you as much pizza as you can stomach but only two bambinos.”

“Never argue with the Donna of the house,” Jim said.

“My family came from Sicily and settled in Louisiana. So, I come from redneck stock. I still have enough pink on my neck not to be messed with.”

“Land of Goshen, I got me a country girl. I bet you can chop wood and carry water as well as the men.” 

Rochelle said, “You’re buttering me up to do the heavy chores. This gal can carry her weight but you’ll be the woodchopper of the house.”

“I’ll build you a log cabin with my bare hands.”

“This ain’t Appalachia and you ain’t Paul Bunyan.” They awoke at dawn and saw the sun float above the horizon glowing yellow and warm.

Soon there would be amber fields of grain with tassels waving in the breeze. Houses would be constructed. There would be villages with white cottages by the sea, like on the coast of New England, light years away. It would be a Garden of Eden for a while. It was the natal hour on the new planet, Eden. This was a place to start anew.