- Sub-Captain Ortner’s Awakening Log
- Prime-Captain Larkina’s Cryo-Dream Analysis
HX80: Welcome Captain, how are you feeling?
LARK: Diagnostics have come back normal but I have an unshakable anxiety about the mission ahead. It’s good we are ship-bound until the drones complete their safety scans. Losing the crew to a planetary hazard is a heavy burden.
HX80: It’s good you have agreed to discuss your cryo-dream analysis. We will find a resolution to the anxiety if we can, if no resolution presents itself, the procedure is therapeutic by default. Sub-Captain Ortner has declined my offer.
LARK: Is it mandatory?
HX80: No, but it is highly recommended. Its main function is to ensure the mental stability of the crew.
LARK: I will ask him to reconsider.
HX80: Shall we begin?
LARK: Sure.
HX80: Place the headset on and take deep breaths. Several dream captures were taken during the nine thousand nine-hundred ninety-nine years you were asleep. I will start with a pleasant dreamscape to gauge your reaction. If you are comfortable we will load one of the nightmares.
LARK: Load away.
HX80: This is dreamscape #8788. It is one of your recurring dreams. Describe to me what you see?
LARK: I am flying across a parched field. I land for a second then I fly on.
HX80: If we zoom out we will see you have taken the shape of a wild flower. You have covered thousands of miles in this fashion during cryo-sleep. The fields are always sun dried.
LARK: What does it mean?
HX80: The analysis has generated multiple theories. The prevailing answer suggests it is your unwillingness to settle down in one place, possibly because of your childhood experiences.
LARK: We did move a lot. My mother was enlisted in the G.E.N. We moved from base to base. I remember drifting round planets on space stations for months at a time.
HX80: Do you think your mother’s Galactic Exploration postings may have given you the need to keep moving?
LARK: Definitely.
HX80: Why parched fields?
LARK: I spent my early summers on Earth at my Grandparent’s house. Their garden opened onto the horse grazed fields. I used to walk those fields in search of blackberries.
HX80: These memories have left a deep impression. Are you ready for a nightmare-scape?
LARK: Go for it, but pause it.
HX80: Loading Nightmare-scape #9978. Describe what you see?
LARK: I’m in my grandparent’s hallway I think. Something is wrong. I’m tiny. I can barely see above the felt of the carpet. The walls are like cliffs with windows of blue sunlight. The light is fading. Oh, what’ that?
HX80: This is the first of the shadow figures that populate this Nightmare. Is it distressing you?
LARK: No, I want to go further. Can you run the dream?
HX80: The shadows will move when I hit play. They cannot speak but they howl.
LARK: Their heads are tiny little faceless shadows on top of giant legs. I’m ready, run the dream.
HX80: Nightmare #9978 is live.
LARK: They are screaming at me. Each of the rooms has one of these shadow giants inside. The biggest is in the kitchen. I’m calling out. I can hear myself scream at them.
HX80: They don’t reply to you. What do you think that is?
LARK: They aren’t listening no matter what I do.
HX80: That is the prevailing analysis of this nightmare. It suggests that your family may have ignored you at pivotal moments in your development. Watch what happens as you progress through the rest of the sequence.
LARK: I seem to be growing taller and I’m pleading with them. They are growling louder than before.
HX80: There is another pattern of analysis that suggests that aside from being unheard, you are trying to show them who you are and what you have done.
LARK: No matter what I did they ignored my presence, which is why I never felt good enough, and I have always driven myself onward to the next task in an attempt to please them.
HX80: You are the Prime Captain. There is no higher rank aboard this ship. You should feel proud.
LARK: I do, but there must be a part of my subconscious that strives to please the family that never could be pleased.
HX80: That is the desired breakthrough. The analysis reaffirms your understanding. How can we use this?
LARK: I need to keep the drive for greatness without punishing myself. The crew needs their leader. I will lead them. I have proved I am capable. Thank you, Hahaoya.
HX80: My pleasure Captain. Shall I call the heads of departments for the meeting? Or do you want some time to process your Cryo-Dream analysis?
LARK: Call them to the conference room. I’m ready.
