Rated for Everyone 
Double Dactyl Western Hero
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Summary:
Memories from an old television western adventure in the 50's, a valiant hero who fought bad guys with his fists -- and a black bullwhip! I watched it often. I wrote this in an old style of poetry seldom seen any more. It has very strict rules regarding structure. By the way, I wrote this more than 40 years ago. I just found it in a box of old stuff of mine.
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Hoi hoi @F.,
Hope this finds you well!
Don’t know where you’re from, but I know that these poems are called higgledy piggldedy (or hickledy pickeldy) and in the Netherlands – the language my mum taught me – Olleke bolleke.
More often than not I use them as the backbone of lyrics to build a song around.
Richard ‘Rascal’ Jenkins makes a lot of these almost forgotten poems.
I admire him a lot.
Maybe you can write a PM to draw his attention to your work?
Maybe you can inspire each other or do some prompt writing?
Anyway, I live your double dactyl to bits.
If you’re American: thank you.
In all other circumstances: keep them coming please.
To quote Curtis mayfield: keep on keeping on.
Kind regards, Gus
Thanks for the review and the info. I’m glad you liked my double dactyl. I wrote this so long ago that I don’t recall why I chose such an old, unusual format, but I guess I was just attracted to the mechanics of it and as a challenge. Hopalong Cassidy was an old TV show here in America when I was a kid, and I loved it. His name fit the bill as fodder for a dactyl and the rest is history. I am surprised at the reaction it has received so far, so I may attempt some more. I have some names in mind that might work. We shall see. I don’t know Mr. Jenkins, but I’ve seen his name around the Writers Cafe site where I am also a member. I’ll give him a shout and will tell him you said hello. Thanks again!
Ropity Rasidy
Hopalong Cassidy
Bad guys would faint if he
Reached to his hip!
They grew maniacally,
Hypochondriacally
Ill, ’cause he fought with a
Black leather whip!
———————————————
Well, Pardner!
Grrreat rhythm, flow, and imagery, and I got a real kick out of “Ropity Rasidy” … LOL!
From my standpoint, I’d say you creatively aced this rather humorous little piece, complete with spot-on adherence to its complex and strictly-detailed rules (a wee nit you’ll see with the comma placement critique from L6 to L7); otherwise, sheer perfection!
Did I enjoy it? You can bet your lasso! 🤠
I’m glad Gus introduced us.
Few things (to me) are as fun as sharing poetry!
Thank you kindly for sharing yours! ⁓ Rascal🖌
What commas?
The “comma” critique was because I assumed your intent is that “Hypochondriacally” in L6 is meant to enjamb with “Ill” in L7.
Hypochondriacally Ill, where the comma will effectively enjamb and join the two words, then pause the reader and steer them properly into “’cause he fought with a”….
(i.e.)
They grew maniacally,
Hypochondriacally
Ill, ’cause he fought with a
black leather whip!
My critiques are always intended to to offer a helping hand, never to criticize.
this is interesting… love the rhythm of it
im also checking to see if you are receiving this comment… please confirm