they used to tell me
it looks like I’m hunting trouble
leaving them thinking I enjoy the drama
I get it…
I do
I can see how it might seem that way to you
but that’s not it
I’m not chasing more of the same
same shit different day
I actually prefer peace and quiet
it’s just…
I’m used to my own darkness
…my personal chaos
familiar with its monsters
we’re on a first name basis
doesn’t mean I seek their company
in truth I’d rather avoid them
too much between us
…if you know what I mean
but I catalog every journey
mapping every foray
keeping a detailed inventory
learning which avenues to avoid
trust me…
I choose other roads
try to make healthier choices
might look the same to you
it isn’t…
and when things go to shit
…as life has a habit of doing…
I remember how to find the exit
(if I’m not growing from my mistakes
they’re just failures
wasted time with nothing gained)
so…yeah…
I’m willing to sit in solitude with pain
memorizing and tracking wrong turns
and next time…
it will be a lesson learned
and I won’t go there again
because I paused…
and paid attention
experience speaks…
and I try to listen
hello lovely and wise Willow this is exceptional in its depths…you self reflect and map how to avoid the pitfalls beautiful ❤️
I try. After this many years, they’re a smidgen easier to navigate. Life still throws an unseen curve from time to time. But then it’s time to sit down and map it out for the catalog. Thank you, Brenda 🧡
I have sat down with my own monster and sometimes its peaceful then other times… I have learned in my silence. I relax
Silence is key. Sitting in the stillness to understand their contours, pitfalls and safe landings. Sometimes it is a lot easier than others, for sure. Thank you, Fia 😊
Yes, experience speaks to us bold and clear. It’s just a shame it takes so long to hear it sometimes while we sit in a pool of unhappiness and pain.
I think there are times we don’t want to hear. And others we struggle to make out the message. Would be a lot easier if life came with a map and instructions. But how would we really learn then? Thank you, Tim 😊
Willow this is excellent and honest.
It’s taken me many years and several depressive episodes to realise the folly of running from suffering.Its painful to sit wth suffering but you can’t drink it away, drug it away,travel it away or fuck it away….only thing is to acknowledge it and understand it exists in the mind only.
Thanks for making me think.
🙏
Ahh but that’s the tricky bit, isn’t it? It’s all in the mind – but the mind is the strongest organ. Amazing to me that we learn at all sometimes. If one can make peace with stillness (not as easy as it seems), it gets easier. Thank you, Peter 😊
Powerfully penned, Willow. Into the book it belongs! This excellent write has depth and insight into your authentic philosophy of life my friend. Your words pierce like needles and then their meaning sinks in. Learning from mistakes equals wisdom. I can relate to this write on so many levels. Amazing work as always. Appreciate you.
Damian
A friend of mine once said “It’s okay to sit with your darkness. It’s healthy to do so. Just don’t make a home there.” That struck a chord in me and ive tried to move with that philosophy ever since. We’re taught to suck it up, walk it off, smile, let it go. But we’re not taught how. Seems rather short-sighted. But that’s society for you. Thank you, my friend 😊