Lines

I don’t know when it happened, or how I became so addicted. The moment the clock rolls to 11pm I know it’s time…. It’s time to meet him.

Miss Castanza, if you do not get adequate sleep, you are going to inevitably crash.”

 That was coming from my therapist, who was assigned to me by my internist, stating that my lack of sleep is avoidance.

 How is lack of sleep avoidance? I have so many things that I have to take care of and sleep is not a priority. if I get an hour of sleep then I’m good. yet my internist says that my blood pressure is high and all these little minor aches and pains are due to lack of rest.

 I told him to give me something that will make me sleep a little longer than an hour and he looked at me as if I had to heads. Instead, he wrote a referral to this therapist who states that I must have had a traumatic experience, and that is why I avoid closing my eyes for long hours.

 I wish you would tell me what the traumatic experience was, cuz for the life of me I never slept longer than 3 hours for as long as I can remember.

“ Miss  Castanza, I am going to recommend you pick up this highly experimental item to help you get some sleep.”

 Now my brain normally runs fast, but did she just say she’s recommending that I use something highly experimental, and it’s an item?

“ Excuse me, what are you recommending that I use?”

“ It is called Lines. You will have to take one tablet, which is one microgram of sedative, and put on this mask that will super-submerge you into the deepest sleep you will ever have. As I said, it is highly experimental, but I believe you will be a good candidate for four lines.”

 It sounded okay but there’s always a catch.

“ So what happens to the people who have had a negative reaction to lines?”

 She shifted a bit but continued, “Only one documented case of a psychosomatic breakdown occurred, and that was because the patient did not take one microgram of the sedative. The patient took several micrograms of the sedative and, sadly enough, ended up in a ward.”

“Excuse me, did you just say a ward?  As in a mental ward?”

“That is correct, but as I said, that patient took several micrograms. You, as detail-oriented as you are, will only need to take one microgram, and I believe you can handle one microgram, and then it will help you be in a state that when you put the mask on, it will assist you in a deeper sleep.”

 I took the referral and thought I was going to throw it in the trash but my curiosity got the better of me. As I said before, I have not had long bouts of sleep, and it piques my interest in what would happen if I could sleep.  Many people I talk to tell me about their dreams or nightmares, or they just feel so rested.

 I never had a dream or nightmare, for that matter. I think my brain doesn’t have enough time to create any of that.  I went to the specialized  medical equipment company and picked up the mask and the medication that went along with it.

I decided to try it out that evening. I cleared my calendar for the international calls I had to make and went through my nightly routine of getting ready to go to bed.  I created this routine by watching this woman on YouTube stating that if you had certain senses and certain sounds, it would help drift you to sleep. So I went through the whole process and now I’m lying in bed with the mask propped on my forehead, and I am looking at the microgram sedative and debating whether I want to take it.

“ Julie, it’s only one time, and if it doesn’t work, you can always return it tomorrow.” That was me giving myself a pep talk. I took it without a second thought and realized it was 11:00 p.m. and put the mask on after I hit the button on the sound machine. I always thought the sound of Rippling waves was soothing.

 Since I had the mask on, I don’t recall when I drifted off, but I did. At first, I didn’t realize I was asleep because I was looking around, and I was in my living room. Everything was situated exactly the same, and I got up to go get some coffee when a flashing light appeared on the computer.

 I went over to the computer and hit the button to find out what was so urgent that I had to adjust it at that moment.

Text message:

“ Hey Julie, I hope you haven’t changed?  I will be landing in an hour, and we agreed that this will only happen once. See you in suite 123. At the Marriott.  Marxs”

Marxs? I don’t know a Marxs. I looked around and everything looked the same, but why do I feel that it’s not? Right at that moment, I received a message on my cell stating that Uber would arrive in 10 minutes.

 What the absolute fuck is going on? Instead of having the coffee, I decided to go into the fridge and have some water, and when I opened the fridge, there was a bottle of wine with a note hanging from it stating Marx’s favorite.

 I slammed the food shut and tried to control my breathing. I went back into my bedroom and saw that the bed was made and an outfit was laid across it. I went over to it and shook my head because this was something I would never wear. Then I went to the mirror and I almost stopped breathing completely.

 My hair is cut short and laid straight back with only a single curl swooping towards the side. My face was made up as if I were going to a photo shoot. I almost didn’t recognize myself because I never wear makeup. 

My eyes were lined completely in black liner, and the color of the eye shadow was smoky, which brought attention to the color of my eyes. The color of my eyes came from my dad. It was borderline yellow with hints of brown that looked as if my eyes came from a broken tapestry of glass.

 My lips were painted in subtle shades of plum. All this to meet a man named Marxs.

“What do you want to do, Julie? Do you want to leave your home to meet a man that you just saw a message from?”

 This man must be important for me to go all out for this. I haven’t had a date in years and if this is a dream what harm can happen?

 I decided to go and meet these Marxs. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I could feel my heartbeat through every part of my body. Once I put on this dress, I realized that it was one of those types of dresses that should not be worn with anything underneath. You would see all the lines, and it would destroy the effect.

 The Uber was on time. I had the wine in hand and my purse and I was sitting in the back thinking to myself, “ this is crazy and I hope I’m not having a psychotic break.”

 We made it to the Marriott and when I went to the front desk the woman just smiled and handed me a key card to room 132.  I went to the door and stood there thinking I had time to turn around but that thought was fleeting because the door opened the minute I raised my hand to press the card to the lock.

 The man that stood before me was dressed and only had a white towel around his waist. his hair was dripping so I knew he was coming from the shower and before I can utter the word hello I was pulled into a kiss that I almost dropped the bottle of wine.

Is it even possible that you can feel a kiss all the way down to your toes? This Kiss was so passionate and hungry that the little voice that was in my head that should have said pull away and get to know him wasn’t even able to say one syllable. Instead, it moaned right with me as if his kiss took all sense of reality to a whole different level.

I was being guided into the suite and I heard when the door closed behind us because we did not part our mouths from each other for one second. He tasted smokey honey coffee. He had more willpower than I did and pulled away.

“ I thought you were going to have second thoughts. I couldn’t let this go on any longer over the phone, and I think we’re ready to be face-to-face. I know what you like, and you know what I like. the agreement will hold. Once we leave these sweets, we will never do this again.”

 We had an agreement? He took the wine bottle out for my hands and walked over to the little table on the right side where they have a small refrigerator and a lamp that must have had several settings because the room looks so dim and helped with the effect of what’s happening between both of us.

 He went to the bed and sat down, staring at me.

“ Take the dress off. I want to see all of you. I’m going to taste all of you, but I need to see if what we’ve been shooting videos of each other is real.”

 If I didn’t have a thing for deep voices, I would not do any of this because he wants me to, but the simple fact that obviously we’ve been shooting and sharing videos helped me ease my way into doing what he wanted.

 I dropped the dress and it puddles around my feet, and I can see how hard he is with the towel being so extended up.

“Come here and be my good girl.”

 I stood there staring at him, and he waited patiently as if he knew I had to decide if I was going to go through with this.

He lay back on the bed and said, “Come here and put that pretty pussy on my mouth because I’ve been starving for you for way too long.”

Going over to him, I decided to stop thinking and just do it. I straddled his face as he grabbed my hips and pulled me down. He sucked and delved in as deep as his tongue would go. I was grinding on his lips, and he rubbed his stubble on my lips, and I felt a buildup. I knew it was not going to take much longer when my thighs started to tremble.

“Ah damn, I’m close,” I said breathy

That is when he pushed two fingers in and a thumb in my ass. As I was about to have one of the best climaxes ever, my alarm went off, and my heart jumped out of my chest when I realized that I was pulled out of an experience that I really wanted.

 Pulling off the mask and looking at the clock, realizing I slept till 7:00 a.m., a whole 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, and at the same time, a frustrated Awakening has started to stir Within Me.

 I wonder if I take another microgram and put the mask on, will I fall back into the position I was in? Shutting off the alarm on my cell phone near my bed, I realized that I had a missed call from the therapist.

 I took a deep breath and called her back.

“Hello, Miss Castanza, how was last night? were you able to get any sleep at all?”

“Actually, I was able to sleep for 8 hours.”

“8 hours? Was it a deep sleep, or did you have any dreams that were disturbing?”

 I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to lie to her, but I did.

“ I did not dream, and if I did, I don’t remember anything.”

 All right, so at least we’re on the right path. We are going to continue this therapy until your body actually becomes accustomed to sleeping on its own without the extra aid.

 I agree to it and I also agreed to meet up once a week at her office to do all the vitals to make sure everything is okay. all the while I’m agreeing to all these things all I keep thinking about is Mark’s and how I want to get back  to him and that’s mouth of his.