Awright, Pollywogs and wee tiny crabs
Gather all around and hear me gab
I’m spinnin’ a yarn that’s salty and true
Get yer hands from ye pockets and quit playin’ pool
Now, Swabby Sam, he liked his rum
And got real sloshed while choppin’ chum
The ship took a roll, he slipped on a fin
The next thing ye know, he’s hafin’ to swim
Ol’ Dave Jones thought Sam was a bore
And told a big wave to wash him ashore
Early next mornin’ when the tide went out
Thar laid Sam with sand up his snout
Mermaid Meg saw him lyin’ there
And tickled his chest with her long wet hair
Sam got horny and wanted some tail
But her sweet blow hole was covered in scales







Oh, Sam, ewww! How could you! Didn’t you even think to include the delightful octopussy? Talk about a hand job! Wowzer!
Thanks. Noooo, Swabby Sam wasn’t drunk enough to risk his gooey duck with no octopussy!