How to Get Elected

How to Get Elected

By FlatDaddy

It takes big bucks
   cause the luck’s with the clucks
      with the cashhhh,
         the stashhhh
            of tucks in the pocket.
That’s the socket, the clock to set the
   rocket of success,
Luck’s best
   with big bucks sucked in trucked in
      “shucked an’ jived”
         by “ducks in dives,”
in smoke filled back rooms, company cars,
   bars and stars
      wave to wars
of cam pain cashhhhhhh.

Politico’s noses
   shows they knows
      it grows on bottom lines,
         in gas pump lines,
and prices rise with doves’ demise.
The war’s the star
   and the star’s on the cap
      of the man with the cup
         and the cup has the cash
            and the cash makes the man
               the man is the company’s —
and the company is measured
   by all the men it keepsssssss.

If ya gotta go politico ya oughta know the rules:
   It’s the clues of the ruse
      that the ruler rules the fools’
         schools the tool that cues the jewels.
That’s the cruelest rule of ruses,
   raises rows of purses roses,
      fills the pool of fuel he uses;
but the one who sings the blues’s
   he that blew the rule of ruses,
      drew the cruise of gruesome bruises,
         cries accrued until he boozes.
’cause the wisest rulers realize
   the rules nay rule the rulers.
And the wily ruler rarely rules
   relying on his muses,
      skews the views of queued abuses,
         hews the noose of grue he fuses,
            screws the few his crew accuses,
               whose neuroses fire the fuses,
stews the boos, the don’ts and do’s,
and
   the ruler who peruses
      which issue best confuses
         when he waltzes wows and woos us
            rules the gooses when they chooses
or the news is:

            He loses.