If Only

Only the deepest of feelings      
Hammers striking the anvil sparks      
Emotions which speak between two without words      
Knowings      
That razor thin line      
Silent crossed      

And then everything bleeds      

I hurt      
It screams      
I threw my all against the wall      
I broke upon you      
For you      
Racked body and soul      

Hauntings      
You everywhere      
But at my need, where I needed you most      
How does light come into a world      
To leave it darker than before      

I am lost, damned, thrice cursed      
Suffering the toils and sweat of Hell to no avail      
There is no mercy here      
Only the memory of one cold drink of water      
The mercy cup      
Your eyes      
Your hand touching mine      
And a meaningless flight of words      
Which said nothing, everything, all we couldn’t say, without saying…      
But damn, feelings speak      
Roar      
In that deafening silence of words…I was lost      
But by God, my heart heard      
Could not yours      

I know it did      

And we walked as wraiths      
Silent in that yearning field      
Amid the tide of crowd      
Intruders on that sacred ground      
Mere shadows in your light      

I know      

I know why      
I know why not      

Mutes keep secrets best  

I know I dream dreams which can never be      
But you touched the flutter of their threadbare hope      
For days the reason      
Which gave the madness of the sweat box reason      
Until broken I could do no more      
But cowboy up      
And ride way      
Not into a sunset but a moonless night      

I know why the stars fall      

Heart left behind      
To lie where it died      

Pain don’t hurt  

If only