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Hundreds of Resumes

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I'm in a social media group for teachers looking to leave the field. I keep seeing posts where former teachers claim to have applied for hundreds of jobs without success. This poem is my attempt to laugh that off.

I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong

I’ve sent in hundreds of resumes,

and had only two interviews

I didn’t get either job

though I’m sure I’m far from the worst

At the first

my blouse must have been the wrong shade of cerulean

and at the second 

I was passed over

for a twenty something

fluent in Spanish and Sebro Croation

Shortly after my teaching resignation

I prepared the requisite interview stories

demonstrating how I remain calm under pressure

such as the time my fifth graders

had a farting competition during math

and how, in a corporate job, I was a innovative team player

by rallying my coworkers to create a company morale song

set to the tune of A Whiter Shade of Pale

Yet still, I fail

Perhaps it’s my key word optimization

Maybe I need to ask AI

what the hot buzz words are

for a neurodivergent 65-year-old

with a for-profit master’s degree

and a stale skill set

who wants to keep it real

Here’s the deal:

I need to break a window

if I can’t open a door

Start a business

or open a store

Maybe be the world’s oldest whore

I don’t know…

But I’ll find a way to live out loud

I’ll never fit in with the corporate crowd

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    4 COMMENTS

    1. Pinkdreams, I love this poem! You spoke for all those stuck between the past and the future. Your courage is a wonder to behold. To set off after years maybe decades on this new adventure takes courage. I also enjoyed reading about the challenges you faced as a teacher. Love the tone you set for this poem. Enjoyed this much.

      John

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