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    Terpsickore: An Experiment in Rhyme

    Terpsickore:An Experiment in RhymeBy FlatDaddyShe’s not the girl he wanted,    she who haunted him and stalked    him and talked him into dance.Their romance, sparked by music,    He, too sick to see danger.    This dark stranger...

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    • An excellently rendered work, Syr! 🎖️

      Well struck in grammar, vivid imagery and emotional timbre, metaphoric fancies, and all around palpable appeal … left me with an eerie sensation, which I suspect, is part of your intent.
      The rhyme scheme is both entertaining, original, and would be creatively challenging to the average poet, I think. The seven-count lines in Quadra-Verse are also quite unique, as it’s rare (if ever) I’ve read this exact format.
      The endline/three-syllables-in rhyme scheme flows nicely, too … I like it very much and may give it a go!
      NitPick: Check the four syllables in on V6-L, the only rhyme that tripped me.

      Thank you, Syr Poet, most humbly and gratefully for the gracious invite! ⁓ Richard🖌

    • Well, that’s a damned nice deconstructive review, Richard, but I confess I’m at a loss as to your V6-L problem; I fail to see it. As I said earlier, I have absolutely no formal training. Never took a class in poetry; highschool English Lit was the closest I got to that. Everything else is self taught. I didn’t start writing til I was in my twenties, and that was all performance work, more geared to my dramatic training. I never thought about writing poetry on a serious level until about 2o years ago; took a 20 year hiatus from life in general when I was injured. Didn’t write so much as a dirty limerick during that time, and finally wanted to see what I could do on a serious level about ten years ago, and even then my concentration was on entertainment. Stuff like, Omniumgatherum, to stretch my head and entertain. So, can you explain in more non-technical terms? I would appreciate it greatly.

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    Crimsin wrote a new post

    walk with me

    depression reigns and I cannot alterin the end love betrays us allwhether it be a slow slipping away of passionor a heart that can't let go...hurtingdying in the moment as feelings buildeuphoria when you utter you love medeep sadness...

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  • Profile picture of Amethyste

    Amethyste wrote a new post

    Sun

    The sun melts in a teapot And I drink it When you give me attention.

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    Usha wrote a new post

    People do forget....

    I see people think that whatever they do wrong such as killing people and hurting them breaking bones drinking blood as urine   That they are not being recorded and watched  For a criminal he leaves a hint or proof that police...

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    Usha wrote a new post

    Am a flower

    I saw him last year With his naighty side face He saw me till I see himHe woke me up from napAnd stood their watching me I opened my eyes and saw himI just gave normal glanceSoon i see him are you...

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