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Sam Nash wrote a new post
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Rosie C and
Christopher are now friends
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PAR (Paulo Acácio Ramos) posted in the group National Poetry Month
The Louvre, the Funhouse, the Disco
April 24th arrives
already half‑forgotten,
like a dream you try to hold
but it keeps slipping
through the fingers of your mind.It brings with it
a fading memory
of the main room
of the Louvre…
not the paintings,
not the tourists,
not the velvet ropes,
but the room itself:
its b…Read More -
Kay-1 wrote a new post
2 Comments -
Curly Grace posted in the group National Poetry Month
Nativity of Loss
(I will always love you, my heart.)I read a poem that evoked a tear
a single, trembling drop
that spun me backward,
into shadows of what was
and the ever-present numbness
of could-have-beens.25 days to go…
The air tastes different now,
heavier with memory,
as the earth tilts toward the same cold light
year a…Read More - Load More Posts
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This is a very powerful piece, Kay, but I would ask you not to use capital letters at the start of a line that is a continuation of the preceding line; it makes the reader stop unsure if this is part of the line above or a new thought. And use punctuation wisely, as a tool to guide the reader when needed. The better the flow, the more enjoyable is the read. This piece is very good as it is, and you need not change a thing; but try my suggestions and see how it feels.
I wonder: are you actually addressing another person — or yourself? It seems to me you are bucking up your own courage, but I could be wrong. It works either way. Nice work, my friend.
FD