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Backdeckbenny (Peter) wrote a new post
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Backdeckbenny (Peter) wrote a new post
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You made me tear up! I don’t know if I could be that brave. I just finished chemo myself. Breast cancer caught early. Lumpectomy. Radiation. That’s why I stopped writing at DUP the last couple months it was there. Just wrote for the first time a week ago and came here. I also fell in love for awhile. Nice guy. Great dog. Held me and went through stuff with me. I couldn’t take the “Are you ok?” even one more time. He was comfortable to be with. A week after my last chemo we stayed at his friend’s cottage. I realized that I was the only thing he had in life. And he focused it on me. I couldn’t be all that. He needs more than just existing. He had 4 good years in the 1990’s but the rest of his life has been being numb. His relationships were all female dominated. His mother and his ex-wife pushing him around. Even his sister who openly hates him. I hated to hurt him but he needs more. I need more. As nice as he was and is – it wasn’t enough for either of us. If my time is limited, I need more than hugs, a smile and “please pass the canned beans”. Writing this comment 2 days after the breakup has inspired a new poem. If I have energy, maybe a post for tomorrow. I did my three today.
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Thanks Mary for the comment.
It was as my old tshirt said
” Just another shitty day in paradise ”
😘