The funny thing about trying
is that you have to attempt it
attempt to get up
attempt to have a purpose
and attempt to try to make the day doable
I tried and succeeded to get up before the alarm
I got my clothes on
put my headphones on out of habit
no music is playing just a habit
I managed to walk a young and an old dog
I managed to try to feel something
what I succeeded in doing
is to create tears
I created a tightness in my chest
my throat
all the while you don’t see it because I’m good
I’ve mastered this face
I’ve breathed through my unease
I’ve taken More than I should
never did I fight back that hard
unless I’m at the tip of the ledge and I’m about to fall
the fall is not what sets the fire
it is the voidness
the wrong mess of things
I’m attempting to stay quiet with my tears
I don’t want to be pushed into talking
I hate the feeling of just watching
but my mouth does not want to move
my thoughts are running a mile a minute
I’m trying
but no one really sees me
the last one who seen me left
added value to my life
then poof like smoke
I’m gonna keep trying
I hope I don’t break anybody
keep trying ..
This is kinda where my mind has been lately. I recently took a lower paying, more physically demanding job just to access these very feelings. I just wanted feel what real living is like again. You’ll only get what you give, and many of us have to give a lot more just to get a little, but these are the conditions that shape the poet. Keep trying, and keep in mind that more people see you than you realize! Life is hard fkn work! But I know you know this, because you are a poet!!
Thankfully you, we all, have access to let it all out in writing. That is our strongest voice. God knows that creative writing really helped me become who I am. I still have a vocal glitch, that hits me whenever it wants, but it isn’t a handicap. I have learned to be confident regardless. Writing gives us a super power. You will win the battles Fia.
Awesome write.
Powerfully penned, Fia. Another excellent write with many deep layers my friend. This one has a musing vibe while turbulence is stirring beneath the surface. I concur with Mark. Amazing read as always. Appreciate you, Cuz.
Damian