Exhausted not just tired
Dying not yet dead
Smiling at the world around
Pretending in my head.
That all is well without
And all is well within
I smile a happy smile
….. it’s just chameleon skin.
There’s something you must know and
I’ll make it crystal clear
Depression brings a special friend
That bastard, “crippling fear”.
But fear is just a feeling
A thought and that is all
I doubt I’ll ever beat it
But acceptance makes it small.
Sometimes i’ll sit there paralysed
Sometimes i’ll want to cry,
The thought that just keeps coming is
“You really ought to die”
But that is just a feeling
A noise inside my head
Peace is found in living
Can’t find it if I’m dead.
So
I’ll keep taking medication
Be quite still and meditate
I’ll love as much as possible
Not give in to fear or hate
I’ll turn off the television
Will not travel far and wide
Give up lifes shiny baubles
As fear knows where I hide.
One day my fear will find me
when it does I’ll force a smile
Then the choice to run or vomit
Will remind me for a while
That fear is just a feeling
A thought inside my head
Peace is found in living
And never in the dead.
The dead are simply dead.
