I’d break all the laws of man
I’d be immoral and a thief
I’d steal your kiss on chance
If for a day, you’d love me
I’d hide the spark you gave
I’d hold it close and fiercely
I’d deny how passionate you were
If for a day, you loved me
I’d tell the world how cruel
I’d taken you so greedily
I’d bow my head and accept my fate
If for that day, you loved me
I’d be put up for judgement
I’d admit my crime at my hanging
I’d lie forever under a stone
If for one day, you’d love me
I’d stand before the gates of heaven
I’d fall in front of the almighty
I’d walk the path straight to hell
If on that day, you loved me
I’d burn in the violent fire
My existence would melt away
But I hope you’d remember me
And the love we had, that day.
~~~
Ten out of ten
I’ll take it! I don’t do many rhymers much anymore, some are older that I edit a bit. But, I wanted something in here that is a strong message for the testament to love, etc. Thanks Peter.
This is so good. I mean,,,I love the flow of it
Hey Fia! I hear you may meet up with Del next month! What! That’s awesome!
I do have a slight burp in the meter in a couple of lines. But I didn’t see a quality edit that I liked, when I tinkered with it. So it stays. I was following the path of action and result moreso, in the progression, so the meter has to have a burp to maintain what i wanted to say. Yeah?
Thank you for the positive vibes!
Beautifully penned, Mark. Another excellent write with clever wordplay and outstanding storytelling my friend. I concur with Fia, it has a rhythm and a flow to it. Amazing read as always. Appreciate you.
Damian
I know you love to rhyme, so I actually had that in mind when posting it. I mean, I can, but it’s harder for me because I lean more towards a storybook approach nowadays. Good or bad, it’s what I feel comfortable doing.
I appreciate it, Damian. Rhyme on!
Talk about manifesting…this is a solid BOOM in the way of rhythm, movement, and expression. And here y’all are now…still living that hoped for day. 😊
I like a boom ! Who doesn’t. LOL. I know this write has a slight question of aggressive undertones at the beginning. I actually reworded it to calm the idea that it was a forceful thing. But, I wanted to capture the feeling of angst and impatience, so hopefully that is what is seen.
Thank you Willow. Me and Del are hanging in there, with our long distance relationship. We do get together four or five times a year, depending on work schedules, etc. One day I will be there permanently, probably less than a year. No, for sure!
It’s worth the wait. We are a great couple!
I was smiling so much reading this that my heart ached!
You are everything I hoped you’d be plus more.
I also remember this picture! You used it on DUP too!
How blessed I feel at this moment, so many years later.
Remembering all the darkest of nights
and the glow of every early morning
Together bound in a discovery of words
Describing how you completely loved me:)
Love you!!
I love you.
We took a huge chance, huh. Especially you, flying for the first time!
I dunno, baby, I just knew it was special. You are rare! Writing is a window, whether we mean to open it or not. And I am a great reader. From our messages, then emails, then video calls, then in person, it all went so smooth and natural. Because it was meant to be.
We deserve happiness. And true love. You are incredible.
A great love poem Styx. You master words like no one else. 🙂
Thank you Tim. I don’t mess with rhyming ones much anymore. But when I do, I want them to be as good as I can make them. I appreciate it when someone lets me know that the efforts are worth it.