“Me… Okay?”
A Poem by Chris
” Speaks for itself “
“Me… Okay?”
Me – okay?
Some days I ask that –
of me,
myself,
and my I.
Other weeks – not so much…
It’s not as important a thought …anymore.
Life as we live it,
as only we CAN live it
… is important.
Some days I even read again –
slowly – now without the sense of abandon
pleasure
imagination…
I’m conscious of the speed –
My NOW speed
but not the mind’s recognition of the next word(s) –
before their actual view or reading
– though that IS still here, within me…
just not as accessible so much.
Reading – just another thing taken away
by another’s purpose –
seems we live on – with that,
things taken away by another’s purpose.
Some suggested I join “Audible” –
I read multiple LARGE books a day
because I WANTED too
And now I still WANT too…
Do you pause in a paragraph or a chapter
or even within a line –
to consider a lightning’s “thought”
or to imagine something, somewhen, some how?
Some thing NOT on the page but within your mind?
Behind your eyes?
How does one “pause” within
an “Audible’s” script?
I remember how to pause a thought –
To have another… and to continue from where I left off.
You ever miss being you…
…you ever miss being…
It’s the little things – mostly
…the details…
the senseless details,
that trip ME up.
All the things you do – did…
some just take extraordinary effort
(read that as pain full and sloooow).
It’s “easy” – not really – getting down …BUT
getting back up – now THAT’S where the work is!
Yeah…
For me, it hasn’t been a getting older thing –
it’s just more of “anothers’ ” purpose.
This is NOT negativity –
They gave me a wheelchair,
I use a walking stick – just a lil more slowly.
“Never Ever Give Up!”*
Chris
* – “Never Ever Give Up”, not my words but they were a life’s lesson I’ve never forgotten from a person I’d never met.
An addendum: “Anothers’ purpose” – a clue for reference sake. Be it Medicine: Medicine is an Art – not a Science.. Many of today’s medical classes and whole courses are “Pass/Fail”, so there are no grades to judge candidate fitness. Some Doctors and nurses really, really work at it, but so many don’t that patient faith and trust dissolve more and more. And “Having Bad Days matter – to BOTH sides. Falling through the “cracks” in multiple professional treatment (including life and death) settings – over and over again – doesn’t inspire… and even the accounting side of the houses – so holier than thou – so often haven’t a clue of what processes work, or timeliness requirements or why ANYTHING matters to someone else. OR: Be it Familial, Social, or even Professional …clueless directives.
© 2025 Chris
Well done Chris
🙏
I am still finding my way through this site… Your “well done” is appreciated but is attached to what? I have been having a LOT of problems with a second post ‘s being properly formatted, the first post was somehow different but just as confusing.
Chris
nevermind, now the screen allows me up and I see it is the poem. Thank you for pausing with me.
Sometimes I look at the “now” me and even though I am older and slower of mind…I don’t mind being what I am now.
Age brings a bit of respect from others because they know we have been there and done that with most things.
I also don’t feel the need now to cowtow to anyone. I don’t care what they think of me and what they will always get is the real me. Not a “me” they had wanted me to be.
Even after the heart surgery, I got back up…life will cause us to do that. And as we get older, we fall more often and get up more often.
Brilliant write, Chris and welcome to Starsrite.
j.
J,
I appreciate your help getting here. Formatting is an issue but will work at it. For me – too many life issues simultaneously and the addendum to my poem is quite real. Docs lied – on their purpose, to my face and caused most of the “now” issues. Mistakes happen but not that many and I also paid a lot of time and travel, cash, paid-off debt, pain and continuing frustration. My recommendation? QUESTION EVERYTHING, Research for yourself BEFORE saying yes to anything, be Your own patient advocate because in the end their’s works for them.
I hear you on doing research. I have done so much of that the past two years between foot surgery and that little ole triple bypass.
Oh, Chris. When you reply to a review hit reply under the review. Otherwise, the reviewer will not know you have responded.
Several on WC are telling me the link didn’t work…it did for you…I wonder why it is not for others. I have let Fia now about it.
ONce we get here and get used to the site, it is quite good. I don’t trust WC anymore. Just don’t.
I haven’t gotten many reviews here yet, but it will take time.
j.
I know the “trust” thing…all too well. I sent you a msg. and I shall do as you suggest. Getting used to new ways of doing anything take time and thought. I think the link worked for me because after that page loaded I did press the login labeled block on the right side and it DID log me in.
Chris
Oh-BOY, Chris!
I’m with you; you sure said a mouthful about aging, doctors, and their methods of practice … and, true it is to be your own best patient by getting multiple diagnosis before trusting yourself to anyone’s “expert” care.
Though, it’s great you’re here, it’s sad to remember what a great home WC has been for many years, to become what it is today … it’s a real chore to be there now, and wonderful, too, to find so many Café-ers gathering here, with more coming (if they can get that damned “code”).
Welcome to Starsrite, Chris … a new place to learn and enjoy! ⁓ Richard🖌
(PS: If you need a hand, just tap my shoulder.)
Hi Rich,
The first post went well, but the second attempt to post hasn’t worked yet. The content box changed in a article/essay type format controlled box that won’t let me control my formatting. Am digging out the old HTML books at the moment.
Health care is a minefield for anyone but so are the outfits that bill you for their healthcare services. Having insurance doesn’t matter if they bill you wrongly, and their bills beside not being insurance covered ARE the full rate of the Health Service – not the insurance pared rates. And I won’t go into the mistreatments patients go through. Thanks for pausing and sharing your thoughts.
Chris
As ever have, you’ve told your past as if sitting, sipping whatever, just talking.. honest and friendly – saying how its been. Life and age might appear to be nothing to do with each other – so said some philosopher whose name I can neither remember nor spell. Having twice read your words, letters slow and telling, I realise that age fills the day wondering what will happen next although Look at you, a prime survivor from a past many would know little about. A time when anything thrown at you was anything but a snowball. Your spine is still straight, Chris, even though moving out of a chair is a touch harder than was. I have the same trouble after dozing mid-afternoon with not an excuse to show for it! Welcome to a site with a large and ready welcome sign.
Hi Em,
Good finding you here. I appreciate your words.
Chris
Welcome to my world sir .. Oh’ n well stipulated .. Neville
Hi Nev… nice seeing you here. I am at WC still and here as well.
Chris
Hey, buddy. After our long exchange of messages over the past week or so, I think you know where I stand regarding the aging process and all the crap that comes with it. So I’ll just say this is another fine example of your prowess with a pen — or keyboard. Good stuff, Chris.
Semper Fi
K