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Winner of contest

No Cutlery in Bed

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Summary:
For all those who find themselves wondering about their relationship. Thoughts in response to an earlier post by Sam.

No spooning no forking

No cutlery in bed

No sweet cunnilingus

No more giving head

No doggies no cowboys

No lube,no more toys

No sounds like ” I’m cumming”

Life’s greatest of joys.

No moisture no heat

No pounding of bits

No pinching or biting

No cock between tits

No biting no bruising

No parting of lips

Nothing at all below her sweet hips.

No slipping no sliding

No sheets in a ball

No holding no folding

No nothing at all

No lusting no thrusting

No swallowing,her call

And that’s why she sleeps

Down the end of the hall.

 

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    19 COMMENTS

    1. Dear God,
      Do NOT let me be this woman again.
      Keep me lubricated or within arms reach of the lube.
      Let me keep my voice, so when he doesn’t please and we both get on our knees I can tell him exactly what I need.
      And NEVER let me stay silent again. Cuz that was God awful. Way too fucking long.
      Oh shit. Can I say that to you?

    2. Love the Dr. Suess format. Fun piece, despite the sadness.

      My mom once shared with me that she and my dad never lost their passion for each other and were still, er. active until shortly before he died at 84. I wish all couples could be that lucky.

    3. Peter, congrats on your hardware for this piece! It’s truly excellent and you are definitely deserving! The rhyme is brilliant. The meter is spectacular. The subject matter is disturbing, but that’s what poetry is about. Despite the depressing circumstances, you still manage a subtle tongue in cheek sort of literary smirk… capped off by this reference to silverware.

      Brilliant

    4. Ah, Peter (and I choose that address on purpose, of course), folie a deux of the wurst kind (sorry, couldn’t resist), but terrible enough to be a winner, eh, P? A nice write. had me chuckling for sure. A nice job here.

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