My biggest fear is not that I will die but that I will lose control,lose myself.That my carefully crafted persona might simply collapse in on itself.That others will witness that collapse.
That is the excruciating fear that depression brings.It never stays away for long, yet never actually does what i fear it will and even though I’ve come to understand fear and anxiety,knowing they are entirely mental formations,they still have some strange power over mind and body.
It’s the arrogance of self, the presumption of importance,the self interest of ego that creates resistance, that creates suffering.
Suffering and the end of suffering exist only in the mind.
It’s there where my answers lie.It’s there where I truly exist.
Powerfully penned, Peter. Excellent write my friend this has layers. Appreciate you.
Damian
Thanks Damian…life was never meant to be easy….right?
Cheers
Hi,
You have told in simple way what is going on inside. That is the difference between a strong heart and weaker one. If you are weak it will take control, brain wants strength even to protect from self, so it tries different ways and gives ideas, it will make you to go through shortcuts too without honesty and good thoughts. If you are strong it gives extra strength to fight boldly the situations, which we call risk and will never be you in comfort zone. Sometimes body physical strength gives extra cushion to take risk and stay bold. So keep running early in morning and memorize how your dad and mom, and your grand parents would have solved this depression, why i am not and why cant i stay strong. If you dont want to be strong, then compare with footpath living hard core labour, is this situation is more than their sufferings, why you are so weak being a man. I crossed this depression many times in my life, i cried too, but my inner subconscious always protected me from people and situation creators.
I dont think my point is big, i would say do charity go to poor people huts and give some help by giving work to them like a travel in rickshaw, you will see how that poor guy is working so hard with physical strength to earn bread for his family.
I am trying to protect you atleast with this reply. I know you are strong and will do great things.
i wish you the best.
Or read a page in religious books, your clutter in mind will leave and you stay strong.
Thank you
Usha Jacob.
Do best, best will follow you,
Thank you for your considered comment.
🙏
You are precious and life maybe tough that acts on mind, but you are more stronger than you think.
Thank you,
Usha Jacob.