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In Retrospect

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Is there something I haven’t seen yet in life?

Is it something that will be revealed to me?

Is this life one of perceptual distortions?

Is nothing really what it seems?


All this frightens me!

For if I made it this far in life,

surely it’s proof that I am a survivor!

A survivor of suicide and life!

 

But I am not sure I can go on.

I’m unconvinced that I can sustain this life as is.

But what am I to do anymore?

I am almost forty yet I look like I’m in my twenties!

 

I was gifted the fountain of youth

yet I grow old inside, decaying, deteriorating.

Pale blue eyes and dark blonde hair

and I know women find me very attractive.

 

I was always focused on beauty, not internally.

I was always selfishly believing I was better

than anyone else! In retrospect,

it depresses me, giving me haunting memories.

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    2 COMMENTS

    1. Life…so many questions! Are we “living” in a simulation? Not real at all, but a “player” or side character in a futuristic game based on 2025. Another theory is the multiverse. I drowned as a little girl. They revived me and I lived on. But in another realm did I die and just shift to continue on? Are any of us real?

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