The Wet-Wet Telethon

           “Welcome one and all

We have some shit for all of ya’ll,

            “Let that pussy breath and those testicles fall 

So, get asshole naked and prepare to make that call,

           “Our goal is to raise those freaky funds for the ‘Wet-Wet Foundation’

With an objective to help those crippled by chronic masturbation,

            “Now open your wallets like female legs when giving birth

And push out those green babies until it hurt, 

            “Understand, there are too many lost to masturbation

Don’t be school girl virgin scared and call without hesitation,

            “Remember a good nut is a terrible thing to waste

So, make sure to give our receptionist a strong money shot to the face,

           “I’m your host CasketSharpe accompanied with three snow bunnies

Who are on pink pussy standby to scissor you out of your money,

            “The sports bras they’re wearing is ready to give you a titty-flashing wish

And with a little extra-Becky will hover over this red bucket and piss,

            “But with a super donation you’ll get that ‘Wet-Wet Foundation’ special work

Privately, of Sara and Brooke giving Purple Penis Pete a firehose squirt,

            “That ejaculation storm is only for a limited time

Because their pussy can run out of the juice any motherfuckin time,

            “On the phone, to my right is tranny Tim talking to a caller

And next to shim is anal Anne-the do-do queen mauler,

            “In the back, with the black wife beater on is Honduras Jose

Call in fast, because his illegal ass will be going to Alligator Alcatraz any day,

           “Every fiftieth caller will receive an original bottle of Diddler oil

Along with musty-back heifer spray for when that botched BBL begin to spoil,

            “Guest speakers will randomly appear on our wet-wet marathon

 From the Baltimore Bondage Nuns to the Ho’ King of Vietnam,

            “Every hour on the hour will be performed a sexual act

Make sure the kids are in bed and the old folks are locked away in the back,

            “When the gong goes off it means we have achieved another money goal

That is also the signal for one of my assistants to trick out their pussy hole”.