You weave words like an artist
when you want something
and yet
through all our
convulted conversations
I can’t figure out what the hell
you want from me
You drop in
connection strong
and then drop out
like the dodgy reception
that tells me the weather is bad
but you know
you know
I’ll always be here waiting
for those brief moments
when you can be bothered
to find the time
to fit me into your fantasies
I hate myself
for thinking I knew you
when all I know
are your patterns
of love bombing
and the disappearing
And I wish
I wish
I knew what was going on
in your head
but I don’t
so you drop in
drop bombs
I don’t know how to disarm
and then disappear
without a word
And if this was your way
of telling me
I wasted a lifetime
loving your friendship
then this is where I tell you
to go straight to hell
Because I’m done
being the punchline
to the joke
I never knew
was about me
You’re one of the people I read who I really believe know themselves and relationships even though you keep
Saying you are repeating.
That came out wrong.
…Ben though you keep repeating patterns
That still means you know 😊
Omg. Typos… you get it.
Thanks Adira. I see things for what they are, but I have a lot of trouble letting go, even when things aren’t healthy, like I unconsciously believe I deserve the pain.
“Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving”
Pete Walker
Psychotherapist who specializes in PTSD & C-PTSD.
Available on Amazon. Get your highlighter or a pen. Be prepared to identify even if you don’t have the Dx.
Oh, and he has C-PTSD as well as treats people with C-PTSD. So the shoes fit and he speaks the language.
I don’t do this often, but this is because I know exactly how you feel.
Be kind to yourself and walk away from anyone or anything that takes more than it gives.
🙏
I’m working on it, thank you, Peter
Sigh..A heartfelt write! <3
Thank you M.E.
Unrequited friendship… I share this pattern. Over & over. It’s exhausting and we know better, and yet we don’t…
Another excellent write.
❤k
Thank you K. I always to see the best in people I love, but sometimes there is no best. I know better, but I don’t always do better.