Rated for Everyone
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tell me it’s complicated without telling me it’s complicated

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I don’t want any more kids
but
I wish my womb would stop
bleeding itself out every month
so I can stop hoping
it’s still capable of holding life

My boyfriend
hates my depression
made the offhand comment
that he’d like me to get better
so I can go back
to keeping the house clean

One of my oldest friends
thinks it’s funny she’s dating
the male version of me
and never fails to remind us
every time we all hang out
like it doesn’t make everyone
(that’s not her)
grossly uncomfortable

My best friend told me
I’m the love of his life
and then knocked up
his fuck buddy

We haven’t talked about it
but I’ve seen the ultrasound

I told my daughter
not to be like me
and she decided to
take my history
and make it a guide book
to life

My son was so sick
he could have died

I didn’t tell my family
because I couldn’t bear
being the epicenter
of rumour and gossip again

And since my kid isn’t dead
what they don’t know
can’t come back to bite me

He said I can’t live
a fulfilling life
without trust

I’d prove him wrong
if he wasn’t already right

I’m aware it’s problematic
that I assume everyone’s an arsehole
until they prove they’re not

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    8 COMMENTS

    1. My standard response to most things as of late, good or bad:
      “I’m just a mirror.”

      It used to be only for the good things and I truly meant it. Now it’s for the not so good things and the worse things. I mean it just as much.

      What I love about your writing and therefore you, Indie, is that you show us that you haven’t let life win. Thank you.

    2. I’ve a friend famous for saying, “Make it make sense!” to life’s B.S. situations.

      An old movie (Catch 22) summed it up best. The novel’s catch-22 was as follows: a combat pilot was crazy by definition (he would have to be crazy to fly combat missions) and since army regulations stipulated that insanity was justification for grounding, a pilot could avoid flight duty by simply asking, but if he asked, he was demonstrating his sanity (anyone who wanted to get out of combat must be sane) and had to keep flying. Catch-22 soon entered the language as the label for any irrational, circular, and impossible situation.

      All that to say life is crazy but we live it anyways. Nicely captured in your vignettes.

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