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Depression

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Summary:
Journal entry circa 2021 - set to music. Depression is something I struggled with for decades. I’ve been free of that type of suffering for the past three years.

The days feel long. Shadows blanket the walls and I sit for hours contemplating everything and nothing. How does one exist outside of one’s self? My angst overshadows any semblance of joy I once had. The room is dark when I realize that I haven’t eaten. Hours have passed. The day stretched out before me when my feet touched the floor this morning and my promise to myself to not let today be like every other day was forgotten. How does one exist outside of one’s self? Perhaps the moon will tell me and tomorrow won’t be wasted.


darkness whispers

a feint echo

a heavy cloak choking 

a muted world

a forgotten dream 

all colors have lost their gleam


how does one exist outside of one’s self?

maybe the moon will tell me


days stretch out before me

sleep a constant battle

I can’t find solace 

there’s no silence in my mind

there’s no peace of any kind


how does one exist outside of one’s self?

maybe the moon will tell me

 

words feel like they’re becoming trapped inside

I long for a gentle breeze

for simpler things 

a hint of grace

what’s happening in this strange place?

there’s only hollowness inside my soul 

hope has become a whispered prayer

how can I break these chains of despair?


oh, moon can you tell me please

how does one exist outside of one’s self?

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