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Coming Up For Air

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You don’t realize you’ve been 

holding your breath  

until the surface cracks open above you,

and suddenly, light.  

Not warmth, not yet.  

But light.

 

The instinct to stay under is strong.  

To float in the numb.  

To let the silence press in,  

where nothing is demanded,  

and nothing has to be said.

 

But then,

somewhere in the ache between

panic and surrender, 

you move.  

Fingers twitch.  

Lungs burn.  

Some part of you still wants the sky.

 

So you kick.  

Not hard.  

Not gracefully.  

Just enough to rise.  

Just enough to break the surface  

with a gasp that sounds like a sob.

 

And it hurts.  

The air cuts.  

The world is loud,  

too bright,  

too sharp.

 

But it’s air.

 

It’s not peace.  

It’s not safety.  

But it’s breath.

 

And for now—  

for just this moment—  

that is enough.

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