It’s one of those weeks
where all I’m left with
is the thoughts in my head
and you fill in the gaps
like flies to a corpse
I miss you
I want you
I hate you
I refuse to need you
but my bones ache
with the weight of your absence
And I keep asking myself
what in the actual fuck
am I doing to myself
letting you let live
rent free in this hell
that supposed to my haven?
I don’t need this
I don’t need you
but here you are
inside me
all the fucking time
like a neverending version
of the first time I OD’d
on the train after a night out
I’ve never been so alive
than when I was sure
I was going to die
peace warring with panic
and I tried to breathe
through eternity
just to see if I could see
the other side of the universe
No one will ever convince me
hell isn’t a spiritual experience
And that’s you
all the fucking time
inside me
the high and the low
the panic and the peace
the dream and the nightmare
And I wish
I really fucking wish
I’d never gotten on your ride
so that I wouldn’t know
what it’s like to live without you
when all my bones do is scream
TOUCH ME
TOUCH ME
TOUCH ME
Familiar tale, well told. I once told a similar tale. Mine was true, I hope yours is fiction. Sadly, I’d still choose drugs over people as an addiction. People will lead you to self medicate anyways…just cut to the chase.
Thanks Joe. It’s unfortunately not fiction. I’ve been addicted to alcohol, drugs and people. People are by far the hardest bad habit to kick.
I’m sober from the first two for a long time now.
Stay strong 🌼❤
Thank you 😊
This made my heart bleed for you. Being addicted to someone is the hardest habit to break, in my opinion.
Cheers to your sobriety from the two people from your past. Stay the course, Indie. It seems like you know where you’re going.
Thank you, Adira 🤗